That's it!

[Pink_Chainsaw]

Hi.
Ok, 'Hi' is too cheery a greeting for my mood. I'm scared, disgusted and out of control now. My mom died recently. I was her primary caregiver and watched her and helped her die, within 6 months. I'm not a little kid and should be dealing with it better and life in general, but am not. Zoloft and my nurse practioner helped me through the months, but now after the heightened stress and care taking I'm left with my demons.

I never put a label on it, but I'm a fucking binge eater! I know I do have an addictive personality so it shouldn't be a surprise. Friends and coworkers think I look so healthy and fit, but I'm a mess. I have so much shame around this I can't tell anyone...except you! Lucky you! Can anyone hear recommend a good online community for this disorder? I am trying to look into a local group but haven't found one yet.

Thanks in advance, and I totally feel your pain everyone.

[Exhausted Mom]

I am really sorry you are going through all of that. I, myself use to binge eat, but once I made the choice to seek help with a therapist about my complicated life and started addressing a whole lot of uncomfortable stuff, my focus had changed. I was addressing the reasons behind my eating habits. Not sure if this will help you, but I hope you can find someone/s to help you. Good luck, hugs.

[fifthsonata]

Hey - I run an online eating disorder community. It's for people of all disorders, and no, it's not a "pro" group - we don't encourage them.

Message me if you want the link.

[Pink_Chainsaw]

Thanks for your advise and suggestions. Of course, this ebbs and flows like any mental illness with stress in my life. There are times in my life when I *think* I've got it under control and have gone years, in fact. The crazy thing is now I realize this 'having control' is the whole point, and I need to address that issue. When I was in college, it was all about controlling to keep me thin and now it's all about emotional pain and I can't even gain weight.

My last therapist dismissed me when I brought up my binging issues and few times, so it was easy to avoid the whole mess. Thanks again Exhausted Mom and fifthsonata. I really appreciate your replies.