Eating disorders, alcoholism, and veganism

[Jasmine123]

I have a bit of a story to tell. My name is Jasmine and I now 32 years old. I have suffered from Anorexia Nervosa for about five years now, not diagnosed, but it was evident that I had a higher focus on what I ate. When I was about 14 years old I was shorter, and at my highest a size 13. My family commented on that and that I was gaining weight, I was slowly getting bigger over time. My mom fed us a lot of beef and unhealthy food. I now think that I would have thinned out as I am 68 inches. I eventually kept getting healthier and cutting out foods over time. I then became vegetarian three years ago, and then to vegan diet. My vegan diet was mostly fruits and vegetables. After a couple years I became 90 pounds with a bmi of 14.2. I did outpatient recovery basically on my own. I listened to them half way with my strong and stubborn personality but gained weight from eating at night under alcohol. Now I still count calories, and drink a bit, but I am primarily vegan. Anyone with similar issues?

[irrationalpersist]

Hi Jasmine123,

I have lived a lifetime with an eating disorder. I have also self-medicated for undiagnosed ptsd. Now that I am dealing directly with the cause of the eating disorder (and alcoholism and drug addiction and sex and love addiction : )) I don't have to struggle with what, when, and how much I consume. I found my eating disorder was as much an expression of OCD - the obsession about food and the compulsion to overeat, under eat, and binge exercise. Throughout my life I have tried many different forms of food control and finally concluded that they all amounted to ritualizing my food consumption as a form of self-harm and misplaced issues of power and control. When I stopped doing that other issues came to the surface, issues that really needed attention. Those subterranean issues, the ones that I could not face while I was engaged in food obsession, were so powerful I could not face them alone. I sought help from a professional therapist and finally was able to begin the process of coming to terms with my history, my experience, and the dysfunctional family system that is still in operation today.

It is good that you are asking about whether these behaviours are sustainable. If you have come to this forum, it is likely that you are ready for a change. In my experience, self-diagnosis and self-medicating are part of a larger pattern of self-harm. If I don't consult a professional I don't have to take the steps to get well. If I don't take the steps to get well, I don't have to face the issues that are truly causing me pain and suffering.

If you are depriving yourself of nutrition to the point of having to drink alcohol to eat, I would suggest it is time to seek help from an empathetic professional. I guarantee you will feel better and it sounds like you are truly suffering right now.

You are not alone and this situation can be improved. Can you ask for help? That is really the first step to health.

((HUGS))

IP

[WiltedRose]

I, too, have suffered a lifelong eating disorder history. I don't have time to elaborate right this second, but I also have gotten a lot of help along the way - various treatment centers all over the U.S. and inpatient hospitalizations a lot. It's a rough struggle - and I want you to know you are NOT alone . Feel free to email me any time - but I agree with previous poster (IrrationalPersist) in asking for help.... the support will certainly help you a lot and hopefully start heading you down a healthier path!
Wishing you the best...
Wilted Rose

[LonelyJC]

Jasminie I have an Eatting disorder I was always into Martial arts and wanted to go into Martial arts and train I stumbled on this podcast because I had Mental health and Bipolar Manic Depression I lost my job at Target due to emotional disturbance and I was always overweight in Highschool and college I was trying to eat a slow death and die of a slow death yes I needed help I admit and ask myself what would I would o done and said to myself I was in Alabama at the time I had a heart attack and mini stroke due to stress too I was I felt abused because my father was alcoholic he hit me with a metal rod when I was still in junior high I had flash backs still I remember telling my teacher at the time I was scared I afraid of my sister because she is my conservatorship since my father passed away my mom had always verbally abused me and called me fat because I was overweight but if you have overweight problem Jasmine I suggest Overeatter's Anomyous ok I have a learning disability I am here to help I am a member of National mental health alliance and I went to recovery wellness camp because it scary to do it your self we can do this together Jasimine loose weight ok I believe in you add me in this forum