after three months on medical leave, and then a couple months of part time (increasing to more hours every couple weeks, I finally am cleared to resume my job at full time hours)
What a hard spring/summer it was dealing with all this awfulness - the anxiety/depression/OCD/ and biggest medical component - the EATING DISORDER.
It's still not an easy ride, but I am certainly in a better place than I was late last April when I passed out at work from my ED behaviors ... and then wasn't allowed to return!
It proves if you can really hang on through the scariest and darkest times, things may ultimately change and you don't feel that way forever. (still scary feeling to be walking a tightrope, teetering and fearing I will fall again).
I was disappointed by the last email from my doctor. I am going to post it below. I LOVE and TRUST my treatment team, but sometimes the things they are so bluntly honest about hurt my feelings, and make me feel as if I can't trust my own brain to make proper decisions for my own well being. We will see how things go, and hope my doctor is wrong!
She doesn't like the way I work 12 hour shifts at work and don't take any breaks - ever. It's hard to eat there.
Also my exercise is very compulsive.
and I am struggling with food, but I gained 15 lb over the summer and am a safer weight. So there have been improvements.
(her words below, pasted... this is from my internist who I've seen weekly all these months... she is also and ED specialist and manages psych meds since she has the training in eds/and their comorbid pathologies)
Debbie,
I am fine to write the work-clearance letter for you, but my concern is that you will again crash and burn. You are not taking enough food in, still exercising, running at work, and purging.
That is not a prescription for well being.
Dr F
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Hope I will prove her wrong.
