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I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: May 26th, 2013, 7:15 am
by Frootsy Collins
I've hit a wall in my therapy and medication. I feel disconnected from people when I'm talking to them, I feel shame from a crush I have on a coworker. I feel lonely and restless when I have free time. I loose interest immediately after starting to do something to feel better. I want someone to hug me and let me cry into their chest, and fall asleep knowing they love me and that I'm not an ugly fuck-up. Every time I talk to someone on a dating site, hang out with friends during lunch, go to the gym, sit and read in a restaurant or coffee shop, sharing something on Facebook and Instagram reloading for likes, it's all me seeking the feelings from that hug.

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: May 26th, 2013, 8:15 am
by oak
Hey Frootsie.

I am sometimes creeped out by hugs IRL, so I send you a high five over the internet.

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: May 26th, 2013, 10:10 am
by MizLzie
Sending a hug your way.

I feel the same way a lot of the time, even though I'm not much of a hugger... sometimes all I want is to be able to collapse into someone's arms, yet I was in a relationship for over a year where I would have never done that. I worry that I will always push people away so that the one thing I am looking for will continue to be unattainable.

Sorry, this is your thread. My rambling is to try and share that you aren't alone. We got ya here. :)

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: May 31st, 2013, 11:53 pm
by Paul Gilmartin
Frootsy,
You are an important part of this community and I'm sorry to hear you're feeling lonely. I'm sending you the biggest of big warm hugs. I consider you an "O.G." in the Mentalpod community. Your Love Offs are legendary.

Paul :)

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: June 3rd, 2013, 8:49 pm
by Frootsy Collins
Thank you, you guys. I've been having a really touch and go couple of weeks, but at the moment I'm feelings lot better. I start EMDR in a few days and my therapist found some support groups to get in touch with. I also let a friend at work know I was depressed and she offered to have lunch and talk about it. I also reconnected with a friend in Seattle who agreed to help act as part of my support network after I opened up.
I really loved hearing the compliment for my love offs on the podcast. I have to admit I replayed that part a few times for an ego boost. Thank you again for creating such a great show and community for support Paul. It's really been a big part of my recovery and continues to help recharge me.

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: June 24th, 2013, 10:42 am
by ColemanSilk
Keep fighting. I hope you get to a better place soon.

Re: I haven't had a hug for 6 months

Posted: June 29th, 2013, 11:43 am
by Cinnamon
Well, I know how you feel and I send you hugs....
touch is so important.

My partner died of suicide in late 2012 and I attended a suicide support group - it was an 8 week group and my therapist asked what I thought was helpful. First, I could totally be myself and not pretend I was okay because others got the whole process. But then I realized also - the hugs. I now live alone, I am nowhere near ready to date again and I miss my frequent hugs from him and in the group - we hugged so much - when anyone cried so it was a lot.
So, I know its hard to not have a hug but I am sending you one.
Do you have relatives, friends or others who can hug? for example, in churches that do the "peace" - you can hug others there.

and, I am planning on getting a massage just because human touch is critical....its not personal and yes you pay, but it sounds like you need the healing touch of another human right now.
Best to you.