Getting some fears out

[lilacskateteam]

I'm afraid that I'm tone deaf and no one has ever told me.

I'm afraid of sharing my music taste in case someone thinks it's lame.

I'm afraid that my best friend thinks I'm childish.

I'm afraid that my parents are secretly upset that I did not attend my high school graduation ceremony.

I'm afraid that deciding to go to university in France will be the worst decision of my life.

I'm afraid that my university experience is too expensive and my younger siblings will grow up with mountains of student loans because of me.

I'm afraid that I will always be too short to reach the top shelf of my cabinets without climbing on the counter.

I'm afraid that living alone next year will allow me to start micro-managing my food again.

I'm afraid that people hate the way my perfume smells.

I'm afraid my father will never be satisfied with my academic achievements and will continue expect more of me.

I'm afraid of my parents living vicariously through me.

I'm afraid I will look back on my childhood and realize I wasted my youth.

I'm afraid that leaving for university means officially moving out and ending my childhood.

I'm afraid that I will continue to start books without finishing them.

I'm afraid that my hair is too long and instead of looking beautiful, I look messy and unkempt.

I'm afraid I will never be able to answer the question "How are you?" with an honest answer.

I'm afraid the amitriptyline anti-depressant that my doctor prescribed for my frequent headaches will cause me to become suicidal.

I'm afraid that my coworkers are annoyed to work with me.

I'm afraid that I will never let myself completely open up to one person. I'll continue to only share bits and pieces with various people so that no one will ever truly know me.

I'm afraid I will never love my father.

I'm afraid I've said something mean to my siblings that will stick with them and negatively impact their life.

I'm afraid of being asked to do something while being reassured that I "always do a great job," it seems like a set up for failure.

I'm afraid that my determination to never get married will make me a bitter old woman.

I'm afraid I will never be able to kill a spider myself.

I'm afraid of not being sad enough at a funeral.

I'm afraid of using incorrect grammar online and being put to shame by various people on the internet.

I'm afraid I will grow too old to love fantasy and fiction and will eventually give into nonfiction books and watching the evening news.

[melalerve]

I'm afraid of sharing my music taste in case someone thinks it's lame.

I'm afraid that my best friend thinks I'm childish.

I'm afraid of not being sad enough at a funeral.

I'm afraid that people hate the way my perfume smells.

I'm afraid that I will never let myself completely open up to one person.

I'd say that all of those are very closely related, and all of them boil down to being preoccupied with other people's thoughts and judgments about you. Chances are, that preoccupation will rapidly start to fade past your mid-twenties. In fact I'd even go so far as to say that you may want to be careful what you wish for. In a certain sense you should maybe even cherish your youthful ability to give a fuck about what other people are thinking. Before long, you'll go shopping in sweatpants like I do.

I'm afraid I will look back on my childhood and realize I wasted my youth.

If you're not wasting your youth, you're wasting your youth.

I'm afraid that I will continue to start books without finishing them.

I used to have that feeling of obligation with regard to books, but I've come to view books more like TV shows: If it doesn't keep drawing me back in, why should I keep investing time possibly better spent pacing around my kitchen table cursing my parents at 3AM?