So afraid
Posted: December 29th, 2017, 6:58 pm
I'm afraid:
*I've been negligent to my children due to my oppressive depression
*My shame will become my kids' shame
*I'll die & my pedophile exhusband will take all my girls
*my cult parents will cause even more harm to my name with even more hurtful lies. They've already turned my whole extended family against me, what more can they do?
*my best friend will die
*that I've gotten into yet another shitty relationship & my current boyfriend, who I let move into my life & my kods' lives, will hit me in one of our frequent arguments
*that my van will break down
*that the god I was raised to believe in really is the truth and I'm going to burn in hell for turning my back on him
*that my reality is fucked and I really am crazy like my asshole exhusband, and now boyfriend, said
*that I'll lose my house
*that I'll lose my low paying, only available job
*that if I kick my boyfriend to the curb I'll go back to the lethargic wastoid non-mom I used to be
*that no one will ever want to love me; a woman with lots of kids, looks 15 years younger, and has recently, finally lost a baby tooth (the adult tooth is slowly but surely coming in!)
*that I'll get cancer from smoking and die on my kids
*that my mom pulls me back into her cult
*I've been negligent to my children due to my oppressive depression
*My shame will become my kids' shame
*I'll die & my pedophile exhusband will take all my girls
*my cult parents will cause even more harm to my name with even more hurtful lies. They've already turned my whole extended family against me, what more can they do?
*my best friend will die
*that I've gotten into yet another shitty relationship & my current boyfriend, who I let move into my life & my kods' lives, will hit me in one of our frequent arguments
*that my van will break down
*that the god I was raised to believe in really is the truth and I'm going to burn in hell for turning my back on him
*that my reality is fucked and I really am crazy like my asshole exhusband, and now boyfriend, said
*that I'll lose my house
*that I'll lose my low paying, only available job
*that if I kick my boyfriend to the curb I'll go back to the lethargic wastoid non-mom I used to be
*that no one will ever want to love me; a woman with lots of kids, looks 15 years younger, and has recently, finally lost a baby tooth (the adult tooth is slowly but surely coming in!)
*that I'll get cancer from smoking and die on my kids
*that my mom pulls me back into her cult