Fears
Posted: March 5th, 2013, 5:29 pm
I'm afraid that I will not want to have kids until it's too late.
I'm afraid that as my friends start to have kids, our relationship will change and my husband and I will be left behind because we don't want kids.
I'm afraid that my husband will leave me because I'm so fucked up that I'm beyond repair.
I'm afraid that I am actually beyond repair.
I'm afraid that I'm going through a Counselor Education program, and that my friends are supportive because it's something that I want to do, until I walk out of the room....then they talk to each other about what I could possibly be thinking going through with becoming a counselor because I'd never be good at it.
I'm afraid that I will never love music again.
I'm afraid that I'll never have a real, genuine relationship with my father.
I'm afraid that everything that I think about my sister not caring about me is actually true.
I'm afraid that my anxiety will get in the way of me achieving my dreams.
I'm afraid that one day, my academic advisor will just sit me down and say, "I know you're doing great in this program, but we need to kick you out because you're too fucked up to be here."
I'm afraid that I will become boring as I continue to age.
I'm afraid that I will not make a difference in the lives of others.
I'm afraid that my achievements are all fake and that the curtain will be raised and everyone will realize that I'm actually totally inept.
I'm afraid that I will never get past the death of my first really serious boyfriend.
I'm afraid of setting a standard for myself that is too hard to reach and that I will disappoint others when that happens.
I'm afraid that I will never be able to stand up for myself to my mother.
I'm afraid that my teeth are going to rot out of my head.
I'm deathly afraid that someday I will have to have lengthy and painful dental work.
I'm afraid that I will graduate and not be able to find a job.
I'm afraid that I will go through my practicum and internship and realize that I actually hate being a counselor and getting my masters degree will be a waste.
I'm afraid that I will never be able to settle down and just live in one place for more than a year.
(there are definitely more, but those are the big ones. I'll add as I think of them.)
I'm afraid that as my friends start to have kids, our relationship will change and my husband and I will be left behind because we don't want kids.
I'm afraid that my husband will leave me because I'm so fucked up that I'm beyond repair.
I'm afraid that I am actually beyond repair.
I'm afraid that I'm going through a Counselor Education program, and that my friends are supportive because it's something that I want to do, until I walk out of the room....then they talk to each other about what I could possibly be thinking going through with becoming a counselor because I'd never be good at it.
I'm afraid that I will never love music again.
I'm afraid that I'll never have a real, genuine relationship with my father.
I'm afraid that everything that I think about my sister not caring about me is actually true.
I'm afraid that my anxiety will get in the way of me achieving my dreams.
I'm afraid that one day, my academic advisor will just sit me down and say, "I know you're doing great in this program, but we need to kick you out because you're too fucked up to be here."
I'm afraid that I will become boring as I continue to age.
I'm afraid that I will not make a difference in the lives of others.
I'm afraid that my achievements are all fake and that the curtain will be raised and everyone will realize that I'm actually totally inept.
I'm afraid that I will never get past the death of my first really serious boyfriend.
I'm afraid of setting a standard for myself that is too hard to reach and that I will disappoint others when that happens.
I'm afraid that I will never be able to stand up for myself to my mother.
I'm afraid that my teeth are going to rot out of my head.
I'm deathly afraid that someday I will have to have lengthy and painful dental work.
I'm afraid that I will graduate and not be able to find a job.
I'm afraid that I will go through my practicum and internship and realize that I actually hate being a counselor and getting my masters degree will be a waste.
I'm afraid that I will never be able to settle down and just live in one place for more than a year.
(there are definitely more, but those are the big ones. I'll add as I think of them.)