YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I'm afraid my face looks bored and hostile, eventhough I'm not.
I'm afraid people don't take me seriously when I'm panicking, because I always turn it into being funny.
I'm afraid I'll have to dance at some point.
I'm afraid there is a camera watching me when I mime a Pink Floyd guitar solo in front of my mirror.
I'm afraid there is nobody who believes that I'm actually sick.
I'm afraid I'm too infantile to catch up with the grown-ups and will stay a kid forever.
I'm afraid nobody likes me.
I'm afraid all my social fears and paranoias are justified.
I'm afraid global warming will destroy our environment and eventually wipe out humanity.
I'm afraid of my father.
I'm afraid there is no god.
I'm afraid I'll keep falling in love with the wrong person.
I'm afraid talented people kill themselves because they get to know something we don't.
I'm afraid I think too much (but cannot stop).

I'm afraid my face looks bored and hostile, even though I'm not.

When I was 15 & working my first "real" job at Dairy Queen, I was often bored which would lead to thinking. My manager called my mom and asked if I had an attitude problem... Turns out my bored/thinking face is quite frowny and sometimes mean. Your fear is my reality
I now make a conscious effort to put a slight smile on my face, just turn up the corners, when in public so I look more approachable. Only works when I'm not actually in a pissy mood.

Oh absolutely, boy have I had that thing!
People ask me all the time, what's wrong, why are you angry, what have they done that irritated me, and I'm like 'what do you mean?' When I stand in front of a mirror, I reassert that my only face expressions are: pissed off, comical and my-dog-just-died. And I don't even have a dog... I guess there has to be some kind of face-coaching available for people like us! )

Anyway, an update to my list:

I'm afraid that I'm too fucking sensitive for my gender.
I'm afraid there is no medication for what's happening to me.
I'm afraid I'm turning unemployable.
I'm afraid to ask a girl on a date (I think it's clear by now that I'm predestined to a life of a sitcom character).
I'm afraid I'm redundant.
I'm afraid of living with untreated anxiety and feeling forever like trapped in a cage.
I'm afraid of calling people by name, in case I remembered a wrong name, so I just call everybody I just met Hey or Hello How Do You Do or Haven't Seen You For A Long Time.
I'm afraid my favourite poets and songwriters are fakes.
I'm afraid of making an innocent joke and wording it so unfortunately that it comes across as wildly racist or sexist.
I'm afraid I treat people like objects and I don't know the difference.
I'm afraid democracy cannot work.
I'm afraid most people are inherently bad, but we're afraid to say it because the fact of it is too depressing.
I'm afraid therapy doesn't work for everybody.
I'm afraid I won't ever have my own biological children, because it would be irresponsible of me to let them inherit my diseases.
I'm not afraid of clowns, ghosts, skeletons and horror movies. For the most part.

MizLzie wrote:

Turns out my bored/thinking face is quite frowny and sometimes mean.

Apparently mine is too. I find that whenever I'm around a group of people and I'm completely tuned out and not listening, there will almost always be someone who has to point out that "she's looking at me like she hates me" or "she's thinking 'what is wrong with this person'" when actually, I'm usually thinking about lunch, or my dog, or penguins. It drives me crazy because 1) I'm not thinking about or looking at you and 2) now that you've drawn attention to yourself decided to tell me what I'm thinking, you're right, I do want you to shut up.

I'm afraid my face looks bored and hostile, even though I'm not.

Since everybody on here has been commenting on this one in particular, I figured I'd throw in my two cents.

Funny part is, I've always had a slight desire to come off as more hostile- well, maybe not hostile, more like tough and intimidating. This is going to sound soooo unbearable, but I've felt like my face is too warm and welcoming *cue the entire world population rolling their eyes at me*. It took me a while to realize the obvious pros to having a face with that, but for so long I wanted to look tough and intimidating because to me, that meant that people wouldn't mess with me. And if I could communicate this to people just by having them look at my face, I would have the advantage in power. I wanted to be the guy who could stare someone down into submission, and I wanted to be the person who people were afraid to argue with. But I've learned to appreciate the things that my face can do.

I'm afraid I'll keep falling in love with the wrong person.

I'm afraid to ask a girl on a date (I think it's clear by now that I'm predestined to a life of a sitcom character).

Man, you and me both. It's come to a point where I can hardly even take a step forward towards someone without knowing with 100% certainty that they have feelings for me. I have a lot of stories to share that have molded that fear into me, they will come up here in due time.

I'm afraid that I'm too fucking sensitive for my gender.

I feel the desire to kindly tell you to take this fear and throw it into an incinerator. I've been told this by people before, and I think it's a bullshit thing to say. There's no crime for being sensitive, and I think it's good for anybody to be sensitive rather than insensitive. And it doesn't matter if you're a guy, girl, or whatever. Transcend the idea that because of your gender, you ought to be a certain way; you're an individual, and you can be however you want, as long as you're okay with it.

Thanks. Especially for that last paragraph.

Well, new ones're here:

I'm afraid the very core of me doesn't want to get healed, because I will never be ready to be healthy.
I'm afraid I will fail school.
I'm afraid I won't be able to get a job.
I'm afraid I won't have a healthy relationship, ever.
I'm afraid the world owes me nothing.
I fear this is all my fault, somehow.
I'm afraid I'm not meant to live well.
I'm afraid nothing will change.
I'm afraid of having nothing to do.
I'm afraid of having too much to do.