Unemployment is killing me

[rosedahlia31]

I've been unemployed for 2 months and can not find any work. I want to be an administrative assistant or receptionist, since I've done those jobs in the past. But every time I find something, either I don't have the experience or it's a full time position. My depression and anxiety is my biggest weakness so I want to work part time. I tried a temp agency but they told me my computer skills were not good enough. So now I'm taking an online computer course to improve my skills. I don't know if this class will pay off. I'm afraid I'll end up working minimum wage jobs the rest of my life. I need to start making money now. I have very little money, I live with my mom, and I feel as if I have no independence. My mind just keeps going around in circles and I'm so fucking scared...

[MizLzie]

From spring of 2009 to January of 2011 I went through more unemployment than employment. Getting fired from a job I loved due to bad management and politics (I was doing well, it was an unjust firing) and not making it past my 3 month probation from another (turned out the company wasn't that great so it's for the best). I ended up losing my unemployment benefits 2 months before I expected, which meant I had to go on full government assistance. It was a very difficult couple of years, but I made it through. These are the things that helped me, hope they can help you. (note: I was looking for similar work, so I can definitely relate)

- Trust that things WILL work out and that they WILL be ok. Sounds cheesy and hard to do, but that's all I had sometimes. People would ask how I was able to make it without freaking out... I couldn't freak out, what good would that do me? Losing my mind wasn't going to get me a job or allow me to juggle my measly EI payments to make rent. I was definitely depressed and I experienced very emotional times, but I couldn't allow myself to "lose it". It wasn't going to help. I would feel that nasty thought spiral starting and would calm myself down by literally saying, "it WILL be ok, I WILL make it work, somehow".

- DO THINGS! Taking the online course is a great idea. But also do things. The weather is getting better (at least where I am), which means you can get out for walks. I walked a LOT during those times. I would load my phone with podcasts, soundtracks, whatever... and I'd go for 2 -3 hour walks listening to things that kept me happy. A good little bit of exercise, free, perhaps educational (depending on what you choose to listen to). I know those walks allowed me to forget what was happening and I could indulge in things that brought me to a happier emotional state. I watched SO MANY TV series during those times, sometimes staying up way too late to watch "on more episode". But it helped. Gave me something to look forward to at the "end of my day".

- Find people. I hope there's at least one person who you can spend time with when others are working. A friend had just had a baby during one round of mine and I spent a LOT of time with her. I was able to help her out, which kept my mind off of things. It allowed me to live life as life instead of staring at job postings and staring out my window filled with anxiety about what wasn't happening (ie interviews). Or maybe online people who you can chat with during the day. I was in danger of not talking to anyone, since I could barely leave my house in case I spent $$ that I didn't have, so some online friends probably saved my life by being around. If you have a laptop, take it to a cafe. Buy something cheap and hang out for a couple hours people watching & looking online. Breaks up the monotony and gets you out of the house. Look around, I hope there's someone there for you.

- Routine & things. As a seasoned job hunter, routine became a big part of my life so it almost felt like work. Mind you for me job hunting was a full time job, the amount of time & energy required for it. I mean - going to bed & getting up at the same time. Spending X amount of time looking, X amount of time applying, etc. NOW, should you veer from the routine because you can't pull yourself out of bed, THAT IS OK!! Allow yourself to get through that, and get back to it the next day. Pretending like it doesn't suck is pointless. It does suck. I never hid the fact that I was stressed and miserable, I just knew I had to plug along. Sometimes I would go a couple days of just browsing the internet without actually doing anything, and yes, I would be a bit annoyed at myself, but I would let it go.

- Self care came in during these times. I recognized that watching British Sci-Fi shows & listening to comedy podcasts made me feel good. So I did that. A lot. Perhaps too much sometimes, but hey, I was out of work a lot! I tried new recipes that could take all day since I was home. Became a part of an online community that, like I said, probably saved my life. Kept my brain busy and I met some amazing people. DO STUFF THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY (preferably free). My house was also VERY clean during that time. Have become a bit neurotic about my dishes since then, but I guess that's a good thing.

As I'm writing this I'm thinking that it sounds cheerleaderish and easier said than done. But I did struggle, it was very difficult - there were other things like my half brother's suicide that made it almost ridiculous how shitty things where. Looking back I realized those were the things that kept me going. When I got a job I would almost collapse crying I was so overwhelmed, hell even my mom blames her fibromyalgia on the stress SHE experienced during those times, worrying about me. (ha, isn't that great?!) Anxious to the point of nausea when I realized I literally had no income and had to go to the government office for assistance. Thinking they would force me to work 3 min wage jobs since I technically could. But, somehow it worked out. I ended up applying to anything. Worked 2 jobs for a year or so since I had to make rent, and in August of last year started a new job in the industry that I was initially fired from! I am incredibly grateful and feel lucky that it did work out that way. But it definitely wasn't an easy couple of years.

[Herself]

Have you tried looking for work at a college, particularly community college? They frequently use part-time workers, and maybe you could get discounts on computer classes. Just a thought.

[Trivium68]

there is help with job training. Have you tried looking into resources along those lines? There are employment training agencies that help you with computer skills, resumes, interviews.

I don't know where you live but you might ask around...

Most of the time they are free.. Especially with the economy there have been an increase in help in these areas.

[oak]

I see several desires. Correct me if I perceive wrong:

1. You want to be employed

2. You want something higher paying than minimum wage long term.

3. You may want to work again as an administrative assistant.

All are worthy goals.

The first will probably come before the second.

Are you willing to truly work any job? If so, then you are on your way.

Are you willing to work weekends, holidays, and third shift? If so, even better. Are you willing to work in fast food? Retail? (btw, I've done all of the above in the last year myself.)

As far as being an administrative assistant. Here is what you do:

Today go someplace where you can observe an administrative assistant. Remember what Malcolm X said:

“Anytime you see someone more successful than you are,they are doing something you're not.”

That person who has the job you want, they did something right. Find out what they did, and then do it.

I wish you well.

[BlackHole]

I'm so proud of you for being proactive and taking it upon yourself to improve your skills. That's not something that everyone is willing to do, and some don't even THINK to do it. Good on you.