Midlife crisis.
Posted: June 13th, 2015, 12:06 pm
If I may get the following off of my chest.
There is an unfair and silly trope that a midlife crisis means getting a convertible, hairplugs, and a young SO.
Like many of the 80's tropes I grew up with, this trope is tired and has nothing to do with my realities.
I am turning 39 soon. I have a window of a few years to make deep changes in my life. While there is nothing magical about age 39, it will be alot easier to make changes at 39 than 49 or 59. Yikes.
At age 42 I can one of two men (to use a false dichotomy to illustrate the differences):
Guy 1: Is fit, happy, and cool. He is successful at work, but doesn't spend too much time there, and essentially no emotional/thinking about it outside of the hours he is paid to be there. HIs finances are fine and improving, and he has his own place. He takes measures to prevent and address health issues. He has his own place, a gorgeous girlfriend, plenty of friends, and takes vacations. He contributes to his professional field, community, and friends. He is calm. He has beautiful clothes that fit well. People turn their heads when he enters the room. He is a presence.
Guy 2: Is barely making it, working too many variable hours at a job (not a career) that is below his talent and skills. He is sliding back into working poverty. Age 50 is unfairly a difficult time for many men to make positive career moves (ageism), and age 50 is rapidly approaching. He pays rent to landlords who don't have his best interest in mind. He is overweight, is not dating, and has acquaintances but no deep friendships. Things like preventative healthcare, proper eating, vacations, and "fun" are always put off for a lack of disposable income. He is frantic and distracted, his life just being connected crises. There is no plan.
Today, in reality, I have a Guy 1 inside me. I can feel it. I know it. It may take as little as an hour a day of good habits to easily ascend to that Guy 1. With a little luck!
Today, I am Guy 2.
I have potential, and people tell me I am making great strides
But I am afraid of the following math equation being my life:
Being happy with who I am = Not moving forward = Losing ground, back into working poverty.
In summary
I am a loner, I am still underearning, and my dating life is non-existent.
Still:
I have an easy, likable charm. I am appreciated at my job, and am learning valuable professional skills in my free time. I am fairly healthy, and know what I want out of life, and what I am willing to give in order to get that life.
I joined this forum 2.5 years ago, and have come a long way. Who will I be in 2.5 years from now?
Those could be the most important years of the rest of my life. Work, money, sex, friendship, health: what will happen?
There is an unfair and silly trope that a midlife crisis means getting a convertible, hairplugs, and a young SO.
Like many of the 80's tropes I grew up with, this trope is tired and has nothing to do with my realities.
I am turning 39 soon. I have a window of a few years to make deep changes in my life. While there is nothing magical about age 39, it will be alot easier to make changes at 39 than 49 or 59. Yikes.
At age 42 I can one of two men (to use a false dichotomy to illustrate the differences):
Guy 1: Is fit, happy, and cool. He is successful at work, but doesn't spend too much time there, and essentially no emotional/thinking about it outside of the hours he is paid to be there. HIs finances are fine and improving, and he has his own place. He takes measures to prevent and address health issues. He has his own place, a gorgeous girlfriend, plenty of friends, and takes vacations. He contributes to his professional field, community, and friends. He is calm. He has beautiful clothes that fit well. People turn their heads when he enters the room. He is a presence.
Guy 2: Is barely making it, working too many variable hours at a job (not a career) that is below his talent and skills. He is sliding back into working poverty. Age 50 is unfairly a difficult time for many men to make positive career moves (ageism), and age 50 is rapidly approaching. He pays rent to landlords who don't have his best interest in mind. He is overweight, is not dating, and has acquaintances but no deep friendships. Things like preventative healthcare, proper eating, vacations, and "fun" are always put off for a lack of disposable income. He is frantic and distracted, his life just being connected crises. There is no plan.
Today, in reality, I have a Guy 1 inside me. I can feel it. I know it. It may take as little as an hour a day of good habits to easily ascend to that Guy 1. With a little luck!
Today, I am Guy 2.
I have potential, and people tell me I am making great strides
But I am afraid of the following math equation being my life:
Being happy with who I am = Not moving forward = Losing ground, back into working poverty.
In summary
I am a loner, I am still underearning, and my dating life is non-existent.
Still:
I have an easy, likable charm. I am appreciated at my job, and am learning valuable professional skills in my free time. I am fairly healthy, and know what I want out of life, and what I am willing to give in order to get that life.
I joined this forum 2.5 years ago, and have come a long way. Who will I be in 2.5 years from now?
Those could be the most important years of the rest of my life. Work, money, sex, friendship, health: what will happen?