YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

HI everyone. I just spent the last five or ten minutes obsessing over where to post this message, so I'm just going to put it here.

It's really long and complicated, so here's the super short version:

I have a partner who is sick (mostly thanks to the effects of my untreated mental illness) and am living in a room that's too small for the both of us in a city where she experience major trauma. I need to leave and find another place to live. I don't have a lot of money, so I'm facing having to ask my family (who I am somewhat estranged from) for help. I have no idea how to do that, though. I mean, I know that I could just be completely honest about how things are, but I also know that that would involve admitting how unstable I still can be and how bad off my partner is. That doesn't seem likely to produce good results.

So I ask this—if you've been out of touch with your family other than the occasional Facebook contact for about a year and now find yourself one step away from the street, how would you open that conversation? Rest assured that all other options are being examined and evaluated. I just want to have some idea of how to do this if it needs to be done.

Thanks, fellow pod people.

This is what I would do but I have my own issues and this is all in hindsight and depending on your environment. You can throw it out or remodel it to suit.

I would ask someone for help, assistance, treatment

I would not ask them (the family) for help.

But, I would ask to meet with them in a public place. Not your place, not their place

If they accept, I would go alone.

I would meet and talk about anything. I would avoid hot issues but be candid in answering any questions. You need to have nothing to lose so that you are free to be honest. That takes help off the table; at least initially. When the conversation dries up I would leave.

If you can stand to be in each other's company, repeat at a suitable interval.

Meet with someone safe straight after who can 'hold the space' for you - while you have 'a reaction.'

It doesn't solve your crisis, I'm sorry. But it might take enough pressure off you that you can begin to make up a provisional plan to find a way through.

Its just a way of putting your family 'on notice.'

Whether you become homeless or not, you need a team behind you. But you'll have little use for one that gives with one hand and takes with the other. You need a team that will stand behind you come hell or high water and will support whatever you happen to decide, or will tell you straight if they can't. If you struggle to find this, there might be people in this motley crew ( ), the 'pod people' as you call them who will form ranks behind you.

Also... Safety, privacy, nourishment.