YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi,

I'm new to the forum and this category really stood out to me, because I am going through many overwhelming life transitions right now. 1. My father died about a month ago. 2. I am in the process of moving from LA to Hawaii. 3. I am now working from home full time for the first time in my life instead of at an office. 4. My husband is graduating from law school soon and will be taking the bar, and his employment / our financial future is uncertain.

I don't even know where to start. I'm just taking one day at a time. There is too much. I sort of freaked out yesterday (sort of the straw that broke the camel's back situation) and wanted to do something drastic, but I didn't do anything too bad, just cried and yelled. Underneath or on top of these overwhelming life transitions are my ever-present other mental health issues, like depression, anxiety, and trying to cope with my mother, who is ... difficult.

I'm not currently seeing a therapist nor taking any medications. I have in the past, but being on meds was too weird, too mood altering, and I don't think I would be comfortable taking any meds again. Too many bad experiences with that. I do think talking to someone would help a lot. I am thinking about therapy again. I have been in a support group for the past year for compulsive overeating and that has helped a lot to curb those issues. My father's death is something I need to deal with. I feel like there's just too much information, and it all can't fit in my head at the same time, and I can't deal with things as quickly as I'd like to.

Anyway... I've been listening to Paul's podcast for a while, and he tweeted about the forum today, and it just felt like the right time to check things out over here. I'm currently staying with my mother in Hawaii, while my husband wraps things up in LA. I'm looking for an apartment. I put in an application on Monday but haven't heard anything yet. Staying with my mom has been really hard. She has so many rules, and is so particular about everything, and never listens to anything I say... I could go on forever. Yesterday I wanted to leave her house and stay in a hotel, but I realized that money is so tight right now that that is not really an option at all. My car arrived yesterday, so really my only alternative seemed to be living in my car. That just seemed like a bad idea. We're okay right now, I guess, we sort of patched things up, but I am anxious to get out of here so I can breathe. Another problem is that I haven't been able to sleep well since I've been staying with her (it's been like two weeks now), and I think being tired also is contributing to my overall situation.

That was more than I thought I would write... well, thanks for reading and letting me share.

Hello "stagnant". I read your post, and I wanted to type a message saying that I honor your pain. You are going through a lot right now, enough to trip up anyone. Please take care, and please feel free to use this little forum as a tool. All the best, we here are all cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow!

Hey. I'm really glad you joined the forum.

I know you said you don't know where to start, but it seems like you're already doing it -- identifying your stressors, trying to take things in baby steps, listening to this podcast, reaching out to people in this community. That's seriously a great start and I'm really impressed. I can tell you're trying hard to get well.

When are you moving to LA? Just trying to get a feel for what's going on in your life. I know there are a lot of mental health resources in LA because Paul's been able to find help in that area. I think it'd really be good for you to see a therapist right away though.

Like manny said, we're all cheering for you, hon.

Thanks for the replies

I actually am moving away from LA. I left LA on April 9, but my husband is still there. He'll join me in Hawaii on May 22. We lived in LA for three years while he went to school. I have a therapist here in Honolulu I used to see. I'm thinking about seeing him again once I switch health insurance. This time, though, I think I'll actually talk about my problems. My real problems. The podcast has helped me see that one should actually talk about the underlying issues when in therapy. When I was in therapy, I didn't really talk that much, and I'd only talk about things going on in the present. Sometimes the psychiatrist would talk more than me. I'm starting to understand now that that's not the right thing to do... hah.

Derp... apparently I can't read. Sorry about that. That's awesome that you already have a therapist there. I bet things will be easier when your husband joins you. Less than a month to go!

I think being able to share here helped me. It was nice to tell someone, to get it off my chest. I'm sleeping better now. My mom and I are doing better. We haven't been fighting or we just say "I don't want to talk about it," and change the subject. We disagree about so many things, it's better just to not talk about certain things.

I didn't get the apartment I applied for. They had a lot of applications. Trying to find a place has been more challenging... I have a cat, and like 80-90% of all rentals here have a no pet policy. I looked at three apartments on Saturday. They were too small for the most part. I don't know if I should just try to settle or try to keep looking and find something better. I called a whole bunch of people and left voicemail messages and sent out emails, and only one person responded. I think that's crazy. It's frustrating. It's hard since my husband isn't working, and I don't make a lot of money... we have a lot of stuff, though, and we need to downsize. I was going to declutter, but then my father died and I didn't have time.

It's crazy to think that I'm spending thousands of dollars to ship over things that I may need to get rid of soon. I don't want to put things in storage, because I've done that before... self storage is like paying someone money so that you don't have to deal with your shit.

I took this quiz the other day and it asked me if I take pleasure in organizing my belongings. My answer is hell no. I hate dealing with it. My husband wants to keep everything. Then the poll response was that most people do take pleasure in organizing their things. So I felt like I must be weird.

Anyway. Just wanted to share. Thanks.