I'm getting help: underearning.

[oak]

(Bump)

Digression: I vividly being a brand new undergrad. I could do all sorts of typical undergraduate shenanigans, from the harmless to foolish to stupid. Three months earlier my high school experience, which was very typical, had all these rules. I hadn't changed in three months, but I was treated very differently.

Fast forward 19 years:

In early 2013 no one would hire me: imagine any minimum wage employer, and they either wouldn't talk to me or hire me.

Then, through the miracle of a minimum wage temp job (resetting a store, 3rd shift!) I got my teeth cleaned at the local community college, got those 2 for $60 glasses (which were great!), and the world's most basic 2013 Android phone (also great!). I tried some new job search methods (sincere thanks to Richard Bolles' book!), and tried some new vendors in a bigger city nearby.

I got hired as temp, did well appareantly, and then got hired into an entry-level white collar position, with benefits and a certainly level of responsibility.

Again, I was the same person as I was a few months before, but suddenly I could pass as respectable.

I said all that to say this: my escalation wasn't due to any great change in hard work or dedication. I was the same person, just around different people.

Success does have to do with diligence, hard work, being savvy, all those sincerely good things. They are necessary but not sufficient.

I'm not sure what my point is, but I want to say that success/change is a weird thing. It isn't fair. It does go to the best or most deserving person.

I guess, going to back my earliest posts in this thread: while I didn't change much, I kept trying different things until something worked.

[oak]

I know realize there have been two actors in my underearning: me and my employers.

From birth to 2015, it was wholly my fault.

From 2015 to the present, I have been underpaid.

I googled "[my role] average salary", and it is nearly twice what I am currently earning.

I can barely afford food and gas, and cannot afford home internet, laundry, furniture, savings, vacations, restaurants, or anything else. I have not been able to get a new band for my watch for several months.

Here is the best I can do, for now: I've gone from teaching myself to code, to completing some coding projects, and now am trying to cobble together a portfolio site. I intend to contact coding recruiters as soon as I have a project that actually works, and then hopefully get some contractor interviews this summer.

I can't continue much longer like this.

[oak]

Today I dug up some courage and used my words:

I told my boss, truthfully, that I am now choosing between food and gasoline to drive into work.

She promised to “look into” a raise or bonus. I have heard such promises before.

[bigeekgirl]

That was very brave, Oak. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

[oak]

Thank you, so very much, for your encouragement, BGG. Underearning is destroying my life, and your kindness is a very welcome port in a storm.

Yesterday my boss reported that her efforts to get me a bonus have been denied by HR. My colleagues in other departments have reported the same.

I don't know how much longer I can go on like this.

Actually, I do: my psyche has given me until the end of the year to have more money, make friends, and date. At age 41 I know how much I can handle, and I've handled much more than I thought I could. I am desperate for abundance. I have gotten by too long on too little.

[rivergirl]

This makes me sad, Oak: I told my boss, truthfully, that I am now choosing between food and gasoline to drive into work.

I keep hearing people say this past week that having wealth and security doesn't solve issues like depression and anxiety. I know that it doesn't, but not having those things sure can exacerbate any mental health challenges.

I hope you're continuing to practice good self-care as much as you can, Oak.

Still "rooting" for you, as always!

rg

[oak]

Rivergirl

Thank you thank you thank you.

I appreciate your encouragement. I don't have many reasons to smile. Your post made me smile.

Self care good: I continue to take much better care of my teeth, my eating habit is good, and I am walking around shoulders back and down, head up, and eyes forward.

Self care bad: I canceled my annual dermatologist appt ($30) and quarterly dental cleaning because I cannot afford them. Skin cancer runs in my family. I am quietly furious that I cannot afford $30 for a dermatologist visit. I work too hard for this.

Quiet Resolve To Get Out: unfortunately there is no change in my compensation. In times like these good men get cold, quiet resolve to get out and never look back. I am kind and do my job, and am effecting a plan to earn more soon. I don't have any hard feelings about this mistreatment, but won't stick around any longer than I have to.

Happy Action: I made it to payday. I am sticking to my budget, tracking my spending, and even was so bold as to budget to join a gym. Will I do it? I'll post here with a report soon.

This will have to suffice for enough. I am Enough, I hope.

Thanks for listening. Lots of love <3.

[bigeekgirl]

Wonderful!

For the record, I'm in favor of the gym. Not only is it a place to work on your physique, it is also a place to socialize.