YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi everyone,
This might be quite rambling, I do that a lot.

Anyway, the point... I am shortly about to be out of a job. This will be the second time in less than a year that this has happened. The first time, I worked at a medium sized computer games company which folded out-of-the-blue: 175 people redundant, just like that. So, the local jobs market became rather over-saturated, very quickly. After a few months of nothing, all I managed to get was a temp job at a software company fairly close by, but due to financial pressures, they are having to cut costs, so as I'm the last one in, I'm the first one out. Two things are about to happen:

1. I'm going to have to sign on for unemployment benefits. Humilitating and depressing as that would be anywhere, I'm living in Britain where anyone having to claim some kind of welfare is seen as a scrounger. Every visit to the local job centre is accompanied by an attitude of "Why haven't you found a job yet, Mr Darwen, clock is ticking..."

2. Whilst doing that, I'm going to have to look for another job. No doubt an optimist would see that as an opportunity, whereas I see it as a huge yawning abyss, made all the more yawning by the fact that my depression has decided that now would be the best time to pop into my head and give my brain a damn good seeing-to with a cricket bat.

So, I need some advice...

How do you show enthusiasm for potential jobs when your enthusiasm for anything has vanished?
How do you demonstrate any kind of ambition when you have none? (And probably never have?)
How do you show any kind of creativity when all artistic creativity left long ago? (I'm an artist.)
How do you persuade anyone you're a "team-player" when you just want to hide under a blanket and rock gently back-and-forth, far away from other humans? (Apart from my lovely and patient wife, I have no friends in the real world. Seriously - none.)
How do you "sell yourself" at an interview, if you don't feel you have anything meaningful to offer anyone?

I find myself discounting any job ads that ask me to have a "passion" or "flair" for anything. I could not possibly take on any job with the word "senior" or "lead" in the title, despite me being in my 40s. People look at me a bit funny if I apply for anything "junior", but that's all I feel capable of doing.

Ramble over, you get the idea. Any thoughts would be welcome.

Hi JSDarwen,

I'm afraid this reply will be brief, because I do not have any answers. I just wanted to tell you that you
are not alone in this struggle, I may be across the pond from you, but I am in there with you. When getting
up in the morning and combing your hair before leaving th house is a true accomplishment, how does one
play the game of life?

I can only tell you the options I am currently considering. Medication, therapy (specifically CBT), searching for
meaning (no clue how to do/begin that), career counseling, exercise,...those are the positive options I've thought
of. Obviously, we both know that any steps we choose to take are going to take effort that we don't feel like we
possess in this moment.

Honestly, I don't know what to do. I wish I could tell you and me both what to do. From reading your post the only
thing I might say is, if you can, take some time while you're on unemployment to address the depression as actively
as you can, it whatever manner that you find most helpful. You feel embarassed to take unemployment, I understand.
But if possible, try to let that take a backburner to addressing the depression.

Please disregard any or all of these suggests as you see fit. I can't claim any personal success yet in my own
struggle with the same issue.

First, you aren't alone, the economy sucks right now, and has for several years, so a lot of your competition isn't going to be feeling much better.

Second, almost every single job I have ever had, I applied and interviewed for while depressed. There is only one exception, and that one was recommended to me by a friend of the employer.

Some tricks I have learned for applying for jobs when you are too depressed to actually go out and do it: find a few good job postings sites for your area, and go through them, opening in tabs every single job that you feel you might be vaguely interested in or qualified for; set up a template for your resume and cv, then tweak them to suit each individual job and employer you've selected, before sending them out. Do this every day while you are unemployed or looking for a new job, that way you get into a routine. Allow your surprise at getting called for an interview to make you excited about the job prospect, and do your research before the interview while excited about it, that way when you think back about your research, it will put you in a better mood at the interview, and prevent you thinking the darker thoughts that you might ordinarily think.

Good luck!