YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I keep having dreams about suicide. Either I'm trying to kill myself and people are stopping or trying to stop me, or I'm talking about it in my dream, or I'm in the hospital again, or in the process of being admitted. It is a very disorienting experience. Especially because I'm trying to get my life back on track and put that stuff behind me. But the dreams are always such a struggle, and so exhausting (if dreams can be exhausting). I'm either struggling to live or struggling to die in the dreams.

It's like I can't get a break from this war I'm waging. My waking hours are often a battle--finding reasons why my life is worth more than money, why making my death look like an accident so my parents could still collect the insurance money won't work. I'd like my sleep to at least be free from such issues. Guess it has worked its way deeper into my subconscious than I'd like to admit.

Are you on meds or did you recently change meds? Sometimes I get suicidal/trippy dreams when my meds change (or when I go off them). It usually goes away (for me) after a few days. Good luck.

Coleman,

Yes, I just added abilify to my med regimen. It didn't even occur to me that the med could be causing it. But it makes sense that it would, especially because it has just been a 6 days since I started taking it. I will hold out a bit and see if it calms down in a week or two. Thanks for the insight!