Sleeping Pills
Posted: September 17th, 2021, 11:41 pm
8 years go I moved cross country to be with a guy I though was the one. Things didn’t turn out too great and eventually I started to need to escape my life somehow.
I started taking 50 mg of an over the counter sleep medication and boy did it change my life. If I was having a bad day I just took a pill and lay in bed in a sort of half awake half asleep state that felt so wonderful and all other things melted away.
As the body tends to do with medication I quickly built up a tolerance to the pill and gradually moved up to 200 mg a night. Then, you guessed it, tolerance. I decided to start taking 0.5 mg of a benzodiazepine with the sleeping pills. Fast forward to today and I take 200mg of sleeping pills and 6 mg of Benzo and still just lay here in bed waiting for some relief.
I started to take breaks only taking the medication combo every second week so the tolerance would have left a little and I’d get that sense of euphoria laying in bed falling asleep with no way to stop it.
Then I started listening to the Podcast and I learned that I had all the hallmarks of an addiction. I had never considered before that one could even be addicted to sleeping pills. I did research and came up with loads of information about why you can 100% be addicted and how dangerous what I was doing really was.
I decided then and there to reach out and get help. Seeing as we’re still dealing with covid seeking help was different than I expected but I managed to share my feelings with my family and friends at the very least.
People were much more supportive than I had expected. On my first attempt to stop I even made it 5 days with no pills. As soon as I hit some stress though I went right back to hiding in my bed with my pills. I’m starting again tomorrow and I fully expect the next little while to be a sleepless mess and I expect I’ll be pretty unbearable to be around but wish me luck please.
May you all stay strong and make it through these hard days.
I started taking 50 mg of an over the counter sleep medication and boy did it change my life. If I was having a bad day I just took a pill and lay in bed in a sort of half awake half asleep state that felt so wonderful and all other things melted away.
As the body tends to do with medication I quickly built up a tolerance to the pill and gradually moved up to 200 mg a night. Then, you guessed it, tolerance. I decided to start taking 0.5 mg of a benzodiazepine with the sleeping pills. Fast forward to today and I take 200mg of sleeping pills and 6 mg of Benzo and still just lay here in bed waiting for some relief.
I started to take breaks only taking the medication combo every second week so the tolerance would have left a little and I’d get that sense of euphoria laying in bed falling asleep with no way to stop it.
Then I started listening to the Podcast and I learned that I had all the hallmarks of an addiction. I had never considered before that one could even be addicted to sleeping pills. I did research and came up with loads of information about why you can 100% be addicted and how dangerous what I was doing really was.
I decided then and there to reach out and get help. Seeing as we’re still dealing with covid seeking help was different than I expected but I managed to share my feelings with my family and friends at the very least.
People were much more supportive than I had expected. On my first attempt to stop I even made it 5 days with no pills. As soon as I hit some stress though I went right back to hiding in my bed with my pills. I’m starting again tomorrow and I fully expect the next little while to be a sleepless mess and I expect I’ll be pretty unbearable to be around but wish me luck please.
May you all stay strong and make it through these hard days.