YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi friends! I am suffering physically, dentally (the worst!), and mentally. I have been in dental/oral/periodontal pain for four days. I am taking action, and barely holding on.

My mental health is at its lowest since I've been sober. But let me collect my thoughts here:

1. What we agree on.
2. The resources I have right now
3. How much and how long I am willing to suffer
4. The plan for next week
5. The team
6. Happy little postscript

1. What we agree on: This morning, reviewing the x-rays, observing, and prodding, my dentist observed, and I agree, that some over-aggressive brushing irritated my gums. My teeth feel fine, my gums have been agony for days.

2. Right this minute I have iburophen, aspirin, and Tylenol. I don't like to take them on any empty stomach, so I have salty snacks ready (Bugles), and milk to take them with. I also have hydrogen peroxide, per the dentist's instructions, for rinsing.

3. How much and how long I'm willing to suffer:
Having taking a late-night ibuprophen (for reasons I won't get into here, I have learned the hard way not to take too much, for too long) a half hour ago, I was still in pain ten minutes ago.

Here is an example of me quantifying my pain, and making a decision to effect a decision:

"If my oral pain is still a 6 of 10 in six minutes from now, I'll eat some Bugles, drink some milk, and take another ibuprofen."

I am not explaining myself clearly, but I like to give myself objective measures, so I don't move the goalposts and have to make a decision while in pain: the decision is already made. And while ten minutes is a long time for oral agony, it is something I can achieve.

Also, it helps to distract myself for 15-20 minutes while the blessed ibuprofen takes effect. Netflix, "wasting time on Reddit", anything.

4. The plan for the coming week:

Tomorrow: I can walk to the pharmacy to pick up my prescription toothpaste (yes, prescription toothpaste exists, and it is wonderful. Almost as good as ibuprofen).

Monday: I can call my periodontist (see below) to schedule an appointment late next week for a second opinion.

Tuesday: My dentist recommend a fancy OTC Colgate mouthwash that has hydrogen peroxide. It will arrive via Amazon Tuesday.

Friday: I confirmed with my dentist, today, that I am welcome to come back Friday (a week from today) if I am no better.

5. Here is my team:

a. My dentist.
b. My periodontist (she graduated from Harvard, is very kind, and I think might be a legit genius. How lucky we are to live in a day when smart people study for years just to be gum doctors!)
c. That we live in a day and age of prescription toothpaste and delicious salty snacks and ibuprofen.
d. My dear friends here in the MIHH forum.
e. My family to generously offer me rides, and the Uber drivers to do so the same.
f. Most importantly: me! This is difficult. I also have a reason to live (I'm in love with someone, okay?!) and I need to make it to the future to try to win her.

6. Happy little postscript

On Monday I had a tele-health session with the excellent nurse practitioner (welcome to the future of health care! Which isn't so bad, IMO) to discuss my obesity and sleep apnea.

On a lark, in a moment of courage, I asked to increase my Buspar (anti anxiety) from 10 mg to 15 mg a day. While 5 mg twice a day is usually plenty, some nights (like tonight) I am up fairly late, and can use an extra 5 mg, for a total of 15 mg for the day. Buspar smooths me out.

So, I was a little courageous on Monday, used my words, and my late Friday night is 10% better. I am a little smoother, a little more whole, a little more me. It slows down and expands the time, in a good way. Not everything is pain, right now!!!1!

Oak, I hear you. I'm thinking of you. Keep using your coping skills.
Heather

Thanks, Heather! I appreciate your encouragement. It really helped me get out of my head, and see an objective, outsider view.

1. Dental update
2. Concluding thoughts about katabasis
3. Old World humor

1. I'm happy to report that I am feeling much better. I'm not sure why, or what I did to improve it, but there is nothing like feeling good after feeling bad.

2. Yesterday I had an obligation to walk a quarter mile (you'll remember I sprained my toe ten days ago-ouch!) yesterday to give a friend something. I came through for my friend, and I was rewarded with no toe pain, and a chance to drink in the sight of the pretty baristas.

I could have walked another quarter mile, total, to pick up my prescription toothpaste, which would have really helped my mouth, but I didn't want to re-injure my toe.

That is how a katabasis works: it has a certain grim humor to it:

* I couldn't walk because I sprained my toe.
* I have to walk because someone wrecked my car.
* I can't buy a new car until I have a job.
* It is difficult to find a job because of a global pandemic.

A bat bled on an open wound six months ago, halfway around the world, and I can't pick up my prescription toothpaste. Such is the cause-and-effect weirdness of a katabasis, which insists on messing up our pride and plans.

(I know I am enormously privileged to have dental care, health insurance, a pharmacy nearby, and $12 ready for it.)

3. Like many things, I think Old World humor best explains katabasis. Two jokes to illustrate:

First joke

Census taker: Does Robert Williams live here?

Man: No.

Census taker: What is your name?

Man: Robert Williams.

Census taker: Why didn't you say you live here?

Man: You call this living?

Second joke

Two old men are at a diner.

First old man: This is the worst soup I've ever had!

Second old man: I know! And so little of it!

Hey Oak,

It’s okay to stop. You can start again later.

It’s okay to get stuff wrong. There’s no caveat to that; you’re just allowed.

Stopping is not ‘giving up’; it’s just stopping; because you’re unsure or, because you’ve had enough for now. It’s normal. It’s your right. It probably requires practice and reinforcement to stop at will.

Your organizing is en pointe. Your energy is measured. Your heart shines through.

Hello Oak,

I love your jokes - were you in Vaudeville in a previous life?

Punchline are sublime.

Hi friends.

I was thinking about this thread from a year ago, and have two thoughts:

1. I don't know if it is causation or correlation, but as soon as I got diligent about taking vitamin D daily, my gums have been fine.

2. Dang, dental health is mental health: I say that the dental agony made me more miserable than anytime since I've been sober. That's really saying something.