YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

So I have a headache disorder that leaves me in chronic pain. Every day I have a headache, and most days it's only a matter of time before a migraine strikes. It's hard to treat, and the pain never leaves...

I'm not lazy. But I'm in so much pain. And my mum won't let me sleep it off. I'm 24 and live with her, I don't have a choice, I can't hold down a job and I need her to support me... But she just won't let me sleep, she won't take no for an answer, today I was in so much pain but she kept waking me up to help her do things like "move the dog to the crate" that she could have done herself in les then 5 seconds. I want to help. But standing up feels like being put though a meat grinder. And to make matters worse my new migraine medication I now have to wean myself off of is causing constant suicidal thoughts.

When I tell her I'm in pain she tells me "I'm sick to! I have to get up and do things!" But I didn't choose to have kids. I didn't choose not to train her dog out of laziness so now I have to baby sit it so it won't chew up the house. I didn't choose to do any of these things, I didn't choose to be born, and I'm sick of her calling me lazy and bitching I do nothing while leaving me to babysit my younger brother while she goes to work even when every noise he makes feels like a drill being shoved through my head.

I really needed a safe place to rant... I can't tell her that what she dose makes me so mad, makes me so hurt, makes me want to end the bs.

The only reason I don't. Is because she wouldn't feed my dog.

I am sorry to hear you are suffering.

I am glad you are using your words. Thanks for sharing.

I hope things get better.

Sorry to hear your suffering. My wife has chronic pain and I try to be understanding, but the rest of her family and others don't understand. They don't understand why she doesn't feel like doing some things. They don't understand some of the things she does to try and get relief. I feel like yelling at them,"She is in constant pain. She's constantly managing this situation. Whatever she does or doesn't do is for a reason even if you don't understand."

BrownBob
Your wife is lucky to have someone who understands. Chronic pain, especially the kind that is invisible, is something really hard to wrap your head around if you haven't been through it. Even if you have had simerlar pain in the past, perhaps even especially if you have had simerlar pain in the past, because what it's life to live through for a few hours or days is so so different to what it's like to live through for weeks, then months, then years.
I'm really glad you put the effort into understanding what it's like for her.

ive got the frequent migraines too. truth be told the reason ive found your post is because im currently at the height of a migraine and i just really needed someone to assure me that im not the only one that feels like rock bottom during an attack. im living by myself right now but man its just as bad in private as it is with people around, it just brings on more self pity which drives me insane.

im sorry i dont have any proper advice/encouragement but im just glad knowing im not the only one in pain.

xx

OhFortheLoveofDog and lilacskateteam,
I'm so sorry you both have frequent migraines. I hope you'll both one day find treatments that work better for you. It's a really hard illness to deal with and can be so isolating. A lot of people don't understand the difference between a migraine and other types of headaches, or think there are simple solutions to the problem when there aren't for some people who suffer with this.

I've had migraines since I was 21 that sometimes include partial loss of vision, extreme nausea and dehydration, etc. I tried so many things that didn't help, including medications that I had to inject myself with that didn't work. Fortunately the severity and frequency has lessened in recent years for me, but I feel so much compassion for anyone who is dealing with this.

OhFortheLoveofDog, your situation with your mom sounds so tough and I'm very sorry you don't have the support you need from her. I really hope you can find some other supportive people in your life. I hope you have someone supportive in your life too, lilacskateteam. Sending you both big but gentle/quiet hugs.

rivergirl