YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

If you've read my most recent post than you know that I am married to a SWIFT truck driver and we are supposed to be going on the road together here soon. So here is what is actually happening at this point. My parents came down to our place in AZ to help me move all of our apartment to their house in CO so they can store it for us and take care of our cat while I go on the truck with my husband. We did the drive in two seemingly reaaaallllly long days. Got to Albuquerque the first night and texted my husband to let him know we got there and he responded. Then came the second day. Got up to my parents home and texted him.... no response. Now, I am used to sometimes waiting a day or two before he can respond if he is exceptionally busy. So I wasn't too worried at first. I texted a few more times over the next few days with still no response and even called his phone a couple of times. Monday came and he took out a bunch of cash from his bank account (they get paid on Tuesdays and I usually handle the accounts for bills) and even more after his paycheck hit the account the next day. This had me freaked out a bit with still hearing nothing from him so I called and left a message as well as texting him asking what was going on. Tuesday night, I didn't get a direct response but he went and posted on his Facebook account for all to see:

"I hate how hearts can change even if you care about someone close. I have a lot on my mind right now.".

Understandably, I am now not only freaked out but angry and heartbroken by this thinly veiled statement. I have STILL had NO contact from him and don't know where to go from here. I do feel blessed that at least my parents are here and I'm not all alone in another state dealing with this on my own, but I never thought that he would be the type of person to do this. I wouldn't have married him back in September if I had ANY thought that I'd be dealing with something like this now. I don't want to tell most people because that will just invite questions that I have no answers for but I needed somewhere to unload other than my parents. Oh, and I forgot to mention that this last Wednesday was my birthday as well (yes, the next day after his horrible post). I also did leave him a message on Facebook as an effort to reach him before I went to bed on Wednesday:

"I don't know what to say right now. You've been avoiding me and now you put what you did on your page. It's not like you can't talk to me. I wanted to wait to write you because I wanted to try to enjoy my birthday as much as I can. I love you and I don't know what's going on but it feels really crappy on this end. I guess I'll try to contact you again later."

Don't know when I should follow this up with more contact attempts.

Omigosh, I am SO sorry you are going through this right now, and on your birthday... Would like to extend an appropriate hug. <3

I hope you have been able to take care of yourself, best you can. A really shitty thing to be going through and feeling good, well feels good!

Hey, happy birthday - and in the long run, you will see this as a great birthday present but right now, you have to deal with a really frustrating situation.
Don't contact him, do contact an attorney and freeze any accounts. Until he communicates with you, you need to protect your options and you will need funds to do that.
Beyond that, wow. I would be so angry at all the ways he misled you from the move to the funds to the timing to the not letting you know there were issues.
I suspect there was something scary about your traveling with him, the intimacy or time or something he was hiding but his way of handling it must have left you reeling.
Good luck.

I'm still in the same horrible position as of right now. I have tried several times to contact him by phone and by text as well as what I shared here that I put on Facebook. I figured since that was the only thing I'd seen from him even though it was just posted on his page and not in a message to me that it would be worth a shot to try contacting him there since everything else had failed. I hate to say it and I wish that I would never have to say that I don't think that even if he came back and begged for forgiveness that I would be able to or at least I'm not sure I could trust him again.

Trusting him now is not something you have to deal with, and there are other things you must deal with, so let that decision go...
face what you can and what you must and questions such as that have a way of making the answer known in their own time

I really like your way of expressing the opinion and sharing the information.