spouse suffering with depression...

[saywhut]

So my husband is a co narcissist and suffers with depression. His mother is a complete narcissist and is a highly manipulative person that takes great pleasure in bringing others pain and having sole focus being on her. Due to these issues with his mother our 6 yr marriage has been strained, last year i got pregnant and he fell into a deep depression cheated on me with several woman, wouldn't sleep with me until i was less "fat" even though i was pregnant with his child and pretty much made my life a living hell. He had no connection to his son and blamed me for the entire time for this. His mom of course was in the background making things worse, i eventually talked him into seeing a psychiatrist and getting on meds. That helped allot and he got better... Now has a better relationship with our baby and myself. He cut all contact with his mother for over six months now and that has also helped allot.

I can tell he is trying to make everything right, he feels horrendous for his behavior, for the intense amount of lying. He lied about everything, it got so bad that i would become anxious and depressed just being with him. I eventually started seeing a psychiatrist as well, but only a few times and we sought marriage counseling. So now, exactly a year later, he is still having episodes of depression and wants to keep the marriage together. I do not. I am over all of this stress, I have been financially taking care of him, emotionally, I can't do this anymore. He feels like a weight on my shoulders. Not to mention he is highly immature, leaving messes, so I am constantly cleaning up after him and our toddler. I am constantly having to mother him " Take a shower, look at the time its getting late, you need sleep, did you eat today? you have to try eating, thats why your tired" I don't want a second kid. And when i try to have these conversations with him, he shuts down completely. He has no friends, no one is close to him, he never keeps up with people or talk to people. I am at my wits end. I keep feeling that maybe it is greener on the other side. Do any of you have any advice for me?

I am totally afraid that if i leave him he will go into a downward spiral ( going back to drinking and drugs) . I love him dearly i truly do. He is a wonderful person and it breaks my heart to see him suffering, but I have this small child that need me. That needs parents that can provide emotional and mental support. And I feel so strained. Like its too much responsibility. I have tried bringing in his dad and other family members to help. But they all have their own lives and he never keep contacts with them when they try. I would love for things to work out. I am just feeling so hopeless, like this is beyond me. Before dealing with all of this, I didn't even know what depression was. And now I know more than I ever wanted to know. Any and all advice will be welcomed.