YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello there,

I am 21 and have a serious issue with relationship hopping. I broke up with my loving boyfriend yesterday mostly due to the fact that I know I do not feel okay when I am alone and I felt like I relied on him to heavily for my happiness and the SAME day I was texting an ex, trying to gain his approval which I will never get. Yeah. I truly do want to be alone, but I am so terrified of being alone or that no one will ever love me again because of the mistakes I have made in past relationships. I even downloaded tinder. 90% to laugh and be curious but at least 10% to get attention and feel less alone. Fuck. I really hope someone else out there knows what I mean and has gotten past this because I do not want to do this forever.

-common-bluebell

A support group would be ideal. It would give you somewhere to go and people to contact when you feel like you need that attention from ex's or strangers.

I've personally used attention from men that way, too, and it's not a useful strategy. I did when I was single at 18 and when I was again single at 29, plus online for the last bit of my first marriage. I still get a little "high" from being flirted with, but I don't get lost in part because I'm in a good marriage now. Anyway, PM me if you want ideas on what kind of support groups would be appropriate as Paul is big on not naming them.