YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I am self diagnosis with adhd and am really struggling. When I am talking with someone I feel like I jump around with topics and leave the conversation feeling guilty that perhaps I have said something to offend them or I just confused or lost them. I also have trouble with hyper focusing. When I have found something interesting, that is all I think about, talk about, study and research. I don't know how to talk about anything else. So by trying not to drown the other person with my current interest, I just make uncomfortable small talk or anxiously stay quiet. I really hate this and feel disconnected a lot of the time. Does anyone else experience this?

Exhausted Mom

In a word, YES! Before I started getting treated for my ADHD, I was all over the place and the trail of perplexed people I've left in my path is something akin the burning of Atlanta. (like that overly long sentence with Civil War references that totally don't belong, ha!)

It sounds as though you're pretty self aware though, I doubt it's more than something your friends to be one of your more loveable traits. (I say that not to be a condescending douche, but it's a determination I settled on after decades of beating myself up over it.)

Ditto on the yes. It seems to run in my family. My dad did it, and I have a brother that does it. I may be the only person very much aware of it.

My other issue is just talking too fast. I've been on Adderall for quite a while now, and I feel like the dose is fine, but speaking and writing are sort of difficult because my hand and mouth want to keep up with my brain. I had to be very conscious and focused yesterday in order to keep things reasonable.

I would encourage you to talk to a doctor and get a formal diagnosis. Being on proper meds makes such a huge difference for me. Having thoughts turn into actions has been pretty empowering.

Edward Hallowell (author of Driven to Distraction) likened the ADD/ADHD brain to a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes. I think that's an apt description. My conversations not only go all over the place, I often have my brain get ahead of my mouth and throw in what seems to be something from left field. To me, it's all a part of the conversation--I only forgot to mention the part my mouth skipped to catch up to my brain. Then I have to see if I can remember the train of thought in order to reconstruct the conversation. My friends and family sometimes tease me about my conversational train getting derailed (complete with train wreck noises and body motions). And yes, they find it charming (thank <insert deity of your choice>).

Yes to both the talking and the hyper-focusing.....

I do this too. Randomly jump topics during a conversation because in my head it made sense, but the other person has no idea where the new topic came from.

Also, very hyper-focused about things that stick in my head. I'm getting to know a new woman (knock on wood) & I'm fighting the strong urge to dissect every aspect of her former relationships- which can go down some dark rabbit holes if I'm not careful. Ones that I'm apparently emotionally attached to the answers of- which can lead to me feeling insecure & getting quiet & then my head isn't in a good place. So the hyper-focus is generally about things that worry me, it would be great if the hyper focus was about positives LOL, like your personality is so charming and friendly .... and go down that rabbit hole. But I get focused on the negative rabbit hole that leads to insecurities.

I seemingly have no control over what I get stuck on