elephant shit

[E is for Elephant]

Today is bad.

[Beany Boo]

Yes it is.

But I can manage. And even if I can't that is not your problem. That is up to me to get help with.

Say whatever you need to. Or else, just know that I am holding a space for you.

[Imissmysun]

Yup

Today is not being kind to me.

I feel like a numb rubber noodle flapping in the breeze just letting me go from thing to thing.

Work is agonizing today.

Just had a very triggering night last night - my walls are back up and I am just feeling blank and not wanting to do anything at all

But its also good to know I am not alone.

Thank you for standing by my side as well.

[E is for Elephant]

Thanks guys. I had intended to write more than just "today is bad" but I was looking at the computer screen and felt overwhelmed and exhausted.

Blank is a good way to to put it. I feel vaguely like I'm on the verge of crying, but I can't even be bothered to do that. Maybe if I had a breakdown crying session it would help? Sometimes it does. But sometimes it makes things worse, and there's no way to tell until it happens.

I've started a dozen movies and tv shows the past couple of days. I can't get past 5 minutes of anything, even my normal "comfort watches".

I hope you are both hanging in there.

[hobojungle]

You are reaching out, even if it is just to write 3 words. That's how you start. Baby steps, E is for Elephant.

[E is for Elephant]

Cleaned the apartment today. Got rid of a couple of bags of trash and a bunch of empty boxes. Did some organizing that had been put off for months. Put some stuff away that was just cluttering up the place.

It's not much, but it's something.

[brownblob]

Small things can be victories too. Sounds like a good day to me.,

[Beany Boo]

I agree.

It's a solid act of unbridled self care. Rest easy.

[E is for Elephant]

I wish that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. Or I wish that I felt the same way about you that you do about me.

If I had a choice of you loving me, or me not loving you, I'm not sure which I'd pick.

[Imissmysun]

I wish that you felt the same way about me that I felt about you. Or I wish that I felt the same way about you that you do about me.

If I had a choice of you loving me, or me not loving you, I'm not sure which I'd pick.

Wow you are profound today and my brain cannot truly process this - it is trying and it is like a fly trying to figure out where to land except that it just won't pick a spot - it just keeps buzzing and buzzing and buzzing around in my head -


Thank you for sharing - truly