YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Perspective and mentality tend to shift, not subtly, dependent upon circumstance and situation. Continuous struggles with mortality, and, paternity. I can't go back 22 years and, make it different. Some of this actually WAS your fault. FUCK THAT, I'm the "kid" here. Seeing as you will accept 0 fault, puts it squarely at your feet. Hypocrite! Liar! Asshole

I'm done showing forgiveness for your failings as a father. So woman hungry, and addicted. Never stopping to ask "How are you doing?"

You say you "didn't raise me to be that way". Well, then how did you raise me? To be a welfare cheat (as you were) A bigot (as you are now)?

Screw parents - I have thought about writing letters that my mom and step father will never see - I know they won't listen or hear me now that I am an adult - they are ignorant of the damage they caused - they have no idea that I freeze in disgust everytime I hear my step fathers voice and don't call my mother for days and days and days because I cannot stand her inability to fight for her children - she was an enabler and is co dependent to what was and still is my step fathers tyranny - and she for some reason thinks that it is normal to have your life dictated by some guy - in fact if I did ever get the will to confront her - she would just ask my step father how she felt about my confrontation - not that my relationship with my mother is any of his concern but she would think so -

Ugh parents are soo complicated - I think that you are absolutely right to feel this way - parents are often hypocritical - telling the "right" way while practicing the "wrong" way - I try very hard to live what I ask - am I perfect no - but I also do not make obvious and overt contradictions - (like smoking in front of kids and telling them not to smoke) -

I am so sorry that you lived with an adoptive father who in all ways should have been excited and wanting of a child as it is absolutely a choice to adopt there is a lot of red tape there - he should have treated you with far more love than you got - and that is incredibly sad to me -

I hope you are well - I hope that speeling some anger out on paper helped - it helps me - a lot -