What I am currently working on
Posted: April 25th, 2018, 10:27 am
To be more productive, I am writing out longhand this list of 11 thoughts. Writing it out longhand connects me with the thoughts in a way that just reading it off my smartphone does not.
[1] my self-worth and my idea-of-myself is not conditional on getting this stuff done
[2] I am not perfect, it is realistic to know I have a set amount of energy
[3] thinking about my responsibility to my daughter helps
[4] not being perfect does not cast a judgement on me that I am a bad dad or bad husband
[5] forgive myself - be compassionate to myself
[6] imagine compassionately guiding my daughter through my tasks with my same challenges - absolutely would not invalidate her feelings
[7] do something, do anything (maybe even just looking seriously at the problem) - this is Compassionate in the long term - a strategy against overwhelm
[8] celebrate successes, even seemingly small ones
[9] this is true, I am proceeding from a place of strength (I am a hard worker and I complete difficult things)
[10] from strength, can look at the challenges in front of me, instead of fleeing - because of willingness and bravery to risk
[11] to simply look at the (emotional) blocks of a overwhelming thing is brave and risky and gutsy - give yourself all due credit
This list of 11 thoughts contains some messages that I have serious blockages with. For some reason, it is much much easier to be compassionate to my daughter, than to myself. I am mean to myself in a way that I just couldn't bear being mean to my daughter.
It is a new experience trying to be more productive while at the same time being compassionate to myself. In the past I would beat myself up at every turn.
[1] my self-worth and my idea-of-myself is not conditional on getting this stuff done
[2] I am not perfect, it is realistic to know I have a set amount of energy
[3] thinking about my responsibility to my daughter helps
[4] not being perfect does not cast a judgement on me that I am a bad dad or bad husband
[5] forgive myself - be compassionate to myself
[6] imagine compassionately guiding my daughter through my tasks with my same challenges - absolutely would not invalidate her feelings
[7] do something, do anything (maybe even just looking seriously at the problem) - this is Compassionate in the long term - a strategy against overwhelm
[8] celebrate successes, even seemingly small ones
[9] this is true, I am proceeding from a place of strength (I am a hard worker and I complete difficult things)
[10] from strength, can look at the challenges in front of me, instead of fleeing - because of willingness and bravery to risk
[11] to simply look at the (emotional) blocks of a overwhelming thing is brave and risky and gutsy - give yourself all due credit
This list of 11 thoughts contains some messages that I have serious blockages with. For some reason, it is much much easier to be compassionate to my daughter, than to myself. I am mean to myself in a way that I just couldn't bear being mean to my daughter.
It is a new experience trying to be more productive while at the same time being compassionate to myself. In the past I would beat myself up at every turn.