YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

A list of various things that have been rattling around my head for awhile now in this time of the rolling year.....

If I can remember and follow a fraction of them, I guess I'm doing OK...

New Year 2020 - Resolutions, thoughts, etc

Thoughts

I will definitely fail, so give myself a break.

Be kind to myself.

Let go of anger.

Avoid the negative thought spiral, it’s not helpful.

There are so many sad, ugly and infuriating things in this world, and this will never change. Try to keep a mental balance. For every negative thought, try to think of something positive for balance.

Try to avoid avoiding things when they’re unpleasant…

Do not ascribe malice to others where ignorance will suffice.

Respond instead of Reacting.

Try to maintain a sense of humor.

Anxiety and worry about the future & Regrets about the past will come.. (“What If… and Coulda Shoulda Woulda….”)

Let self-recriminating thoughts or memories pass by.

Same with intrusive thoughts.

Stop to clear the mind first thing upon waking. Try not to get sucked into the day’s anxiety immediately.

Try to step outside of myself to consider why I may be feeling the way I am – Lack of sleep, allergies, seasonal affective, hangover, etc.

Actions

Remember to breathe.

Drink more water.

Stretch in the morning.

Remember to eat.

Take a walk & get some exercise.

Say hello to passers-by.

Use an artificial light on the overcast, oppressive days.

Listen to music.

Be kind to others.

Try to do at least one productive thing each day, no matter how small.

Write things down to help clear the mind.

Makes lists of to-do items to clarify and prioritize, but don’t let them become a burden. “Rome wasn’t built in a day”. Some things will lose their importance over time.

Try to be more organized. Use a notepad/pocket recorder instead of random paper at hand.

Try not to waste time online if depressed. Try to avoid ephemera, unless it’s consciously helpful (humorous, informative, etc). Read a book, magazine or newspaper instead, since these are better curated and less distracting.

Ask for help.

Communicate.

First up, you're a great guy. It is good to have you in the forum. Thanks for your encouragement regarding my tendinitis: it is already a little better.

Your list is excellent. May I offer some thoughts:

1. I find it helpful to consider failure, or "failure" to be the default. Trying anything is hard.

Likewise, I've found that if I achieve 10 to 25% of my daily effort to my stated goals, over the long term I'll nearly always succeed. 50% of daily good habits is too much to demand of myself.

2. Sometimes there is a time and place for anger.

3. Yes, I really encourage you to face difficult things, especially when you don't want to. It is the fastest way to heal.

4. I see you list SAD: if you don't already have one, buy a light therapy box from Amazon. They're all pretty much the same, and $50. I wouldn't hesitate to get one of them listed at about $35.

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=lightbox&rh= ... sr_nr_n_18

I got a small lightbox four years ago, and it really helped me mitigate/avoid SAD. Previously, and you may not believe this, I could feel the weight of the SAD descending on me. The lightbox really helped.

Summary

I identify with so much of what you wrote: you are not alone.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Good Luck with your list

Thanks BB,

I should print it out and tape it to the ceiling so I see it first thing....
And maybe have a couple of them tattooed to the back of my hand.

So so easy to forget in the heat of the day.....

SD

Hello Oak,

Thanks for your comments.
The anger I want to get rid of is the non-productive and internally harmful type, often happens when driving, or ruminating on some of the ugliness in the world.

And yes, I got a small light-box about 6 months ago and it does help. The weight of dark & overcast days is palpable. I'm sure it's correlated with atmospheric pressure too, and definitely with pollen count in the spring. A dark rainy day in the spring can make me crazy ( )!

Regards

Snoringdog

Hey Snoringdog,

It's a year later. How did your year turn out?

Yes yes!

I want to hear all about it!

Wow, what a year, right?
I've been meaning to review, and will post....

Need a break tonight though, after a stressful couple of days...

SD

Wow, just stumbled back across this Pre-Covid-Lockdown posting of mine.
So much has changed! Damn, what a freaking world...

(Never did print my list, but I'll do it. Still all good stuff.)

I recently came across a little handheld voice recorder that I'd been using a few years ago and reviewed my verbal summaries of my half dozen therapy sessions from that time, which was interesting.

Also started using it again to record thoughts. Just saying things out loud sometimes helps even if it's only into the machine.

On a recent commute I was doing so, and apparently tension was building from a lot of pent-up internal stuff, combined with the external (e.g. the A-hole drivers I encountered.)

I screamed "GOD DAMN IT! I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY RIGHT NOW! I CAN'T TAKE ANY MORE!

That was cathartic.

Upon playing it right back, I had a really deep long laugh at myself!
Amused me when I thought about it later in the day.

SD, you always alway always make me laugh!

On a recent commute myself I found all people on their cell phones while driving were female. All of them. As illegal as it is they still continue to do this. I become so bloody angry and find myself gripping the steering wheel with my arthritic hands and this internal lava of anger boils up to my eye balls. Then the light turns green and I honestly feel like driving into them to scare them. But I like my car to much.

It might have been a good thing I failed my medical for police as I would have targeted them on a daily basis and potentially lost my job for chasing people while on my way to other jobs.