YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Welcome to the forums. This is a super supportive place.

If you're new to your diagnosis or if you simply suspect you're autistic...

I'm an autistic woman, late DXed, so I've had a lot of reading and learning to catch up on.

To start with I would recommend these books: Women and Girls on the Autism Spectrum by Sarah Hendrickx (that's not a typo) and Spectrum Women (ed. Barb Cook and Michelle Garnet).

I wish I knew of books specific to nonbinary folks or to trans folks... that's a gap in the literature IMO. The books I mentioned are more oriented toward cis women and girls, but I have not found transphobic content in either.

The Facebook private groups Autistic Adults with ADHD and Why did I walk into this room? offer compassion and support the way only a roomful of auties can do for each other. Can't recommend them enough.

I usually post about my treatment and care plan over in the How Do You Feel Right Now viewforum.php?f=23 forum. I've decided to seek medical treatment because I'm menopausal and I struggle with much more depression, emotional volatility, and focus trouble than I used to. Apparently this is super common among menopausal autistic women. I'm just starting my journey with treatment as I type this.

Autistic women, girls, and nonbinary folks are welcome to PM me.

I understand that autism is a spectrum; do you think it’s possible for someone to be persistently undiagnosed because the symptoms are just not severe enough?

I have extreme social issues, since childhood. I have thought for quite some time, that I might have aspergers. Extremely rare for women, but I took a test (online but it seemed legit) and the results were mostly negative except for the social issues.

I wish I could get a more specific diagnosis, not just “anxiety and depression” but no doctors ever take me seriously.

I’ll look for those books.

Thank you for sharing!

Hi! Thanks for sharing. I'm curious, if you don't mind sharing, to know if you are taking medication for your depression or anxiety. You mentioned you're menopausal. I am, too, and I was expecting a much bumpier ride through this, but I've been taking medication since 2003 (started at age 33), and I think this has helped me avoid the worst of those issues. I already had emotional volatility, for example, which is one reason I went on a med. I asked my gyno two years ago, when I was still having periods, how much I needed to worry about preventing emotional volatility and she said the fact that I already take an antidepressant automatically helps a lot. Btw, I took sertraline for about 12 years and then switched to duloxetine 3 years ago because I felt the sertraline had plateaued. Everyone's chemistry varies, of course; just FYI FWIW.

Hi kookaburra

I am not on anything for anxiety/depression, and haven’t been since before menopause hit. Doctors here (US) won’t listen when I tell them that their favorite medicine doesn’t work for me. So, I just quit taking it, and literally ~nothing~ changed.

I am on vyvanse for ADD, and I smoke weed at night & it does wonders for my anxiety, lightens my mood, and puts me to sleep like a baby!

Between those two things, and hormone replacement therapy, the worst menopause symptom I ever had was getting hot at night, but even that could have been (at least partly) environmental and not entirely menopausal. It’s hot as hell where I live, nearly all year.

I highly recommend hormone replacement. I did some research, and I learned that it actually might prevent some health issues. I also learned that the term “bioidentical” is essentially meaningless; it’s a marketing term from the pharma companies. So no need to worry about which hormones to take, if you do decide to go that direction.

Hope this helps!

Thanks so much for the great information!