YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

This man was someone my mom grew up with, but they married other people and went their separate ways.

She moved back to her home town after she retired, and moved in with him. She was about 65, he was a couple years younger, but I would have been 35 or 36 at the time.

I never had a dad. My biological father abandoned us when I was 3, and I don't even remember him. My stepfather had his own issues, and barely noticed I was alive.

My mom moved out and they broke up a few years after she moved in, but I never stopped calling him "Dad", and called him regularly. He sincerely, genuinely cared about me as if I were his daughter.

I miss him. I'm flying up there tomorrow morning, even though I made my travel plans hoping to get to say goodbye.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I read your post a few days ago and have been thinking of how hard this must be for you. But, I also felt thankful - thankful that, finally, a good person stepped up in your life and demonstrated what a quality individual could be to you. Demonstrated how important you are - how worthy, kind, unique and intelligent you are. On the heels of miserable excuses for parents that your biological dad and stepfather were, this man stepped up to take on more than his share of friendship and guidance in your life. I'm glad you found him and had some time with him before he passed. It makes me want to cry and I know neither of you, so I cannot imagine how you must feel.

I am wishing you patience with yourself and your grief.

Thank you, TinaMarie.

He had a daughter late in life, who he raised alone. She is a lot younger than me, and only recently moved out on her own. I am looking forward to spending some time with her during my visit.

It's weird... I felt the loss intensely at his wake and funeral, but when I'm not actively thinking about him, it's pretty much business as usual. I feel a little dismayed, like I should be more upset than this...

I am overall just grateful that I had a dad for a few years at least.