YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Beany Boo, bless you. I like this idea for working.

My boss is completely unhinged. I am 100% not joking when I say that she contributed to my PTSD. If it wasn't for the boss the work here would be pretty low key and a lot of fun; with the boss everything is of the UTMOST IMPORTANCE AND WE HAVE TO DO IT RIGHT NOW OR THE WORLD WILL END AND OMG HOW COULD YOU NOT READ MY MIND!?!

The only people who can stand working with her are people who are heavily medicated and in long-term therapy. Literally. Our office is almost exclusively bipolar people with shitty childhoods; we bond over meds and bad parenting. The only time that my bipolar II has even been an asset...

Beany Boo thanks for sharing.

I had a breakthrough at work today. There's an organization-wide situation that is putting pressure on everyone. I'm low down and don't really have the ways or means to develop or move to other, better work without considerable risk. But I manage the stress of that pretty well.

Today my boss was talking about a group project that looked like it wasn't going to get finished and would have an obvious detrimental effect; and be embarrassing. His approach is just to put a fire under it without any useful input. He asked to see progress on it and I showed him the facts. He started to talk about the need to get it done and about how people higher up were 'starting to panic'.

It felt instinctually manipulative.

I stopped him by saying, "well I feel sorry for them but, I can't afford to panic." I felt like he was using 'panic' in both a casually sarcastic way and a derogatory way and my comment, in hindsight, was delivered to call him on it. For someone who in secret, panic means facing the abyss, I think I'd heard it used one too many times in a way that shamed me. I realised that language was being used that manipulated me into working beyond what was fair or safe and at the same time into fearing for my job. I was basically saying to him, "shit or get off the pot". Fire me or let me do my job; support me even. Just don't joke about panicking.

I respect him and the pressure is real, and the resources, limited. But I've stared real panic down, many, many (many) times, and I deserve respect for that. If the work is objectively achievable I'll get it done whilst managing my own stress levels and getting help from others. Managers who use employees' lower status as a lever to assuage their own stress levels are behaving unethically. I decided I won't let him be that for me.

I also want to say, I don't feel like he was personally intending to be manipulative. There is a culture we all buy into, and the language of it can hurt people whose difficulty we have not shared in. I saw an opportunity to assert my difference.

I have lost all sense of purpose at my job. I feel like I'm not qualified for any other type of work and I'm so scared to take a risk and try to retrain and start over. I have no place and no passion. I recently was invited to interview for another position within my organisation that I thought might help me rekindle a sense of purpose only to discover the hiring team went behind my back to discuss my application with my current boss even though they had no intention of hiring me. Now I feel like I'm screwed at my current job and I have no prospects. I feel like they sentenced me to death and I feel ashamed of not being up front with my boss that I was interviewing for another job because I expected the other group to keep it confidential. I'm so angry with myself and upset that I was outed for trying to improve my working situation like I'm the only one who is supposed to feel guilty even though half my team is either leaving or applying for promotions within the group - but I'm the jerk because I wanted to move to a different group. Why can't I just work a job I'm better suited for? Why do I have to feel so guilty about what others don't? Argh.

Hi, Ihavetinnitus_mawp, I hate navigating company politics especially the behind your back stuff. From what I'm reading, you didn't do anything wrong. If it's caused tension with your current boss, perhaps letting them know, hey, it's not personal, I'm just looking for other options. Most companies want to promote from within and it should be a badge of honor if a boss has other department's taking their people. I know it's scary, but the way I look at it (but don't always act on) is the only hope of change is through authenticity.

You are so right. Now if only I could extract this lump from my throat and pain in my chest that comes with the intense anxiety and shame. Dear mental illness, please screw off, lol.

bigeekgirl wrote:Hi, Ihavetinnitus_mawp, I hate navigating company politics especially the behind your back stuff. From what I'm reading, you didn't do anything wrong. If it's caused tension with your current boss, perhaps letting them know, hey, it's not personal, I'm just looking for other options. Most companies want to promote from within and it should be a badge of honor if a boss has other department's taking their people. I know it's scary, but the way I look at it (but don't always act on) is the only hope of change is through authenticity.

i'm stuggling with a coworker.

I'm trying to word it to not sound winey .... here goes,

she says things that I feel challenged by and I don't know how to reply to.

I'lll give an example

We have a vendor - So she tell's me

" you know, when you're predecessor was here they used to deliver the books to her. You got them used to that you pick up the books, now it's too late".

And she does these kinds of comments all the time. To me and others, like everyone is taken advantage of all the time.

hope I make sense.