YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I am afraid I'll sound like a little girl, but here goes.

I have most of the disorders listed on the page. Nothing to do with maternity, being a guy, but most of the others. Getting handle on these has taken 30 yrs, but I'm finally semi-ok. Or , just damn near good enough to enjoy a day thats allright.

I developed some sort of sleeping disorder when I was @15 yrs old. I would sleep, but never really go to sleep. I was aware of the room, any noise, and never totally lost consciousness during the night. Worse while battling depression, but never very good.

The first tiny dose of seraquil changed this. I SLEPT!!!!! It was incredible. This still works, HOWEVER....Oh, and no more bi-polar stuff, so I just cant stop taking it. I tried to for one night and the same no-sleep returned. I dont want to abuse it like I did every other sleep drug and I have no hang over.

The last six to eight months the dreams started. If regular dream is black and white tv, these seraquil fueled fuckers are imax 3d. Never a fun dream. Always death. Very often centered around trying to bring my brothers body back to life after he had been dead for 6 hours (it did happen, I tried cpr), and JUST failing to do so. Or, having the paramedics bring me out of my own suicide, or worse.

The dreams are intense like we had when we were kids. I wake myself up screaming and crying. My wife is incredibly supportive, but still..

Does anyone else have these dreams, and what do you do to deal with it?

No opinion, thought, or anything you say is wrong, dumb, or not appreciated. This seriously sucks!

I don't have such dreams, but that sounds intense, friend. Please take care, all the best.

I wish I could make them positive. Theres no way I can dare even think about not taking my meds, but these are bad enough to make me consider doing so.

I've talked about this here, and just a little bit out in the real world. It might be helping. One full week of not having to try and bring my dead brothers body back to life!

Thank goodness that honest dialog helped you in such a way. Take care, all the best to you.

Hey Rc409,
I hear ya with the dream problems. I hope by now you've found some help for it and if so I'm curious what helped you.
My own dreams come in stretches, usually accompanied by daytime depression cycles. Not a fun combo. Mine are usually involving me being chased by someone in a horror film sort of way. They have weapons, or I can tell they want to do something awful to me. I feel the life threatening danger. It's always at the moment right before they "get me" that I wake up. My therapist made a suggestion that perhaps it coincides with something I'm struggling with in my life, like feeling like I can't get away from a dangerous situation, which is very true. I'm trying to cut contact with my mom and it has been extremely difficult and complicated. I think the solution is to address whatever the underlying reason for that specific nightmare is. Mine is definitely still in progress. I hope that helps!