I am

[damaged]

I am male
I am an alchoholic
I am a musician
I am always depressed
I am a failure
I am damaged

[oak]

Thank you for sharing.

[damaged]

Thank you for acknowledging me

[oak]

My pleasure.

May I offer a thought or two, that you are welcome to take or leave?

When it comes to alcoholism, there is hope.

Please keep pursuing your music. We need your voice.

[damaged]

I have heard they're is hope. Have seen 2 friends escape it. 1 is now dead and the other a jesus freak. Such hope.

[momsequitur]

Thank you for sharing. My thought is that you may be all those things right now in this moment, but you can work on changing the part you don't like. I know it sounds trite but tomorrow is another day and another chance to move forward. {hugs}

[damaged]

Hi. Thanks for the reply. I do use my music to try and fend off The negative qualities but my failures with the music only intensifies the negative. Which then keeps me from writing so i wont feel the experience failure. Im stuck in an on going cycle. The one thing that gives me joy also hurts me.

[oak]

Ah yes, jails/institutions/death: the three horsemen of late-term alcoholism, with the possible escape pod of 12-step, Jesus, or (in my case) spontaneous sobriety.

I am not sure where you are on the alcoholism road, but your "death or Jesus" dichotomy is apt.

When I stopped drinking I was around plenty of religious folks, and damn, were they doing a lot better than me, at the time.

Same for the 12-step guys: they had jobs, money in the bank, and had a great time, day to day. I had none of those things.

Since you identify as an alcoholic, you know that death is a very real possibility. My friend, who I met on the first day of junior high, and lived across the street from me, drank himself to death a year ago at age 40.

Alcohol plays for keeps, man.

I wish you well. I encourage you, kindly, to be careful of sweeping generalizations about your identity. You are a full person, a mix of good and bad. Like all of us.

[richardsalvo]

It was very brave of you man to admit to yourself that you are an alcoholic person.

[Namu]

I know it's been a few months, but I want to let you know, damaged, that I read your posts, and I hope you've found some relief from the darkness. Compassion to you.