YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hello everyone. Let me start by saying I'm not 100% sure what my mental deal is (I haven't gotten around to seeing a professional, because that's just fucking scary).

In short: even though I'm 18 years old with so much of my life ahead of me, I struggle to get out of bed, I feel like I'm a disappointment to the few people that care about me blah blah
blah.

I rarely go outside and I haven't formed any new relationships in a very long time, which makes me angry at myself, which makes me feel worse and you know how it goes.

Anyway, the main reason I created an account is because I've been having fairly loud and recurring thoughts about killing myself via wrist cutting. This is scary for me because I know where the razor blade is and I might know enough about failed attempts that I could actually pull it off on the first try.

P.s I typed this on my phone, so if this made your eyes burst into flames, sorry

Hey! Thanks for posting. I'm glad you did.

I am also glad, super glad, you are using your words regarding suicide and cutting your wrists. I can't offer any sage, cool advice. I do encourage you to keep using your words until you find someone who cares. It might be the first person you tell, or it might the 12th. Someone out there wants to help you.

Let me also say you have a delightful sense of humor, per your last line there. This world needs someone with a sense of humor like yours.

Hang in there.

Welcome to the show.

I rarely go outside and I haven't formed any new relationships in a very long time, which makes me angry at myself, which makes me feel worse and you know how it goes.

I know that loop.

Can't get up/out, gets angry, feel even worse, gets even angrier...

I'm trying to eliminate the getting angry at myself part, because it's usually the part that escalates my anxiety and passiveness. First step is being aware of it, which you are, so while you haven't figured everything out, maybe you've already begun. Getting stuck in quicksand is scary, but reaching out for help is just as scary.

Hi there,
Welcome.I was a lot like you when I was 18. Getting help is scary, but listening to those thoughts in your head can be scarier. It can be a nightmare. Keep hanging in there.