YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I was a victim of childhood abuse. I don't remember much about my early childhood beyond the fact that I was home alone a lot. Got myself ready for the bus, etc. Until I was 8 when my parents decided that I needed a babysitter and that babysitter was going to be my older brother. Fine whatever... Until the abuse started. For 4 years I was sexually, physically, and emotionally abused and tortured by him and his friends. At that time I fell into deep depression. At the age of 10 I held a gun to my head ready to end my life. After the abused ended I struggled with self-harm, anorexia, and PTSD. I didn't get any help until I was 22.

Currently I am struggling with the PTSD ALOT. I have started EMDR and had my first session last week. It was rough. I had a baby six months ago and developed postpartum depression at that time on top of everything. I went on Zoloft and this past week was put on Buspar. Buspar has messed me up so bad and I've only been on it a day. I have hot flashes, am completely disoriented, and dizzy. Its made my dissociation so much worse. I also went for blood tests today to see if I have a thyroid issue that is aggravating all of this. God I hope so so that I have some answers.

Hi!

All I can focus on with your post is that you had a baby!! Welcome to the world little one!

I have never had kids, but I am sure the postpartum depression must be horrible.

I am not sure what else to say but that I see and feel you.....plus I totally want to snuggle that baby.

There's a few good within the negatives
Firstly congratulations on managing to do what no kid your age shouldve had to do in getting yourself to school!
I'm so sorry your brother put you through that he's a failure!! As a human and a big brother. I hope you feel strong enough yo seek the justice yiu deserve. If not soon. One day! Even if justice is just calling him out on it ( if yiu do. Don't expect to get the answers you need. If yiu get them that's a bonus)

I can't imagine how you're feeling with a likkle baby amd coping with it all I just hope yiu have someone to support you

If I can help in anyway. Please just inbox me. I do care!