YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

Hi.
I am new to the boards and I would like to say hello there.

I have been diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder but I am not really sure if that is the correct diagnosis. The main issues I heard from people is I am all over the place and I act like I am on drugs when I never taken any in my life except booze. Haven't been drunk for years either. Google couldn't give me a straight answer but I got some sites saying it is bi-polar. I been diagnosed with bi polar before but they changed it due to a attempted suicide with lithium. I been diagnosed with something else but I do not remember what it was. I was also diagnosed with add as a kid.

Welcome to the boards and wish you luck in finding a correct diagnosis and help in dealing with your issues

Hello and welcome!

My brain is a scattered mess. It feels like i am a hoarder in my brain even though i dont keep things.... i keep negative feelings

It is hard to even start digging through it i dont even know where to start and it is exhausting.

While a label helps a little it doesnt define us. Its something we just have to deal with.

I do not know about hoarding negative feelings but I do understand how it was like with your thoughts running full throttle on a bunch of old useless nonsense.

What do people mean by 'all over the place' and 'act like being on drugs' in related mental health terms?

It sounds to me like

ADHD

My son has it and he is very very hyper when he does not take his meds. He will talk and talk and talk and have a very hard time sitting still a lot of fidgeting and twitching and just moving like he cant control his body.

To 'normal' people these actions probably look like 'tweaking out' on drugs.

These people do not understand your brain which is just beautifully different.

Concerta helps my little guy cut out some of the extra noise.

Hope that helps.

I'll look that up. Thank you.

You are very welcome

Another question. How are thoughts different from feelings and how do they interact/influence each other? You said you have negative feelings. Does that apply with thoughts as well?

They can if I am feeling angry then I often think that I am an idiot - that I probably deserve whatever is being dished out at me. Like I screw up at work well at first I think think how dare they think I screw up but then I realize that I did mess up and maybe I really am just a dumb screw up. I often feel ugly or just worthless and I guess I feel sad then but more often I just kind of feel nothing - like numb - my happy is like kind of contained like there is a ceiling to it and its not really me feeling the feelings....

Unless I am feeling anxious panicked or jumpy - then its amplified.

But yes my negative thoughts are all just awful things about myself - its funny because if I heard anyone else say these things about or to any other human being I would be defending the recipient of the insults -

However I don't think to stop the liar bully in my head - it just gets louder when I try its easier to just keep believing it somedays


But yes I think the negativity rolls into a big ball - when I am having a bad day its just bad feelings and bad thoughts

Not to get all religious or philosophical, but that how the devil works by attacking your thoughts.

Starts in the head and then goes to the heart. so to speak.

I used to feel but lately not much there for some unknown reason or another. Can't smile, can't laugh. It sucks.