oh, hi
Posted: January 21st, 2017, 7:22 pm
So after listening to the show for a few years, I'm finally posting here. I've always struggled with depression, and have had occasional bouts of therapy that were generally unsatisfying. I take Zoloft and Wellbutrin, which generally keep me on an even keel. But I'm beginning to think I also have an undiagnosed anxiety disorder or OCD. Since I was 21 or so, I've had what I now know as intrusive thoughts. Sometimes my brain counts numbers, but more often than not, it's this rhythmic (almost rapped) stream of profanities. It was an irritant in the past, but it's beginning to intensify, to the extent I'm begging my brain to stop thinking these horrible things. That's my main problem. Also, I've always had suicidal ideation, but recently I've begun to imagine my own death - falling off a bridge, for instance. And I imagine I see disasters. When I went to Disney World with my family last year, I could practically see the Magic Kingdom in ruins, like some macabre post-apocalyptic scene. While I'm completely functional - even got promoted at work last year - all of it's beginning to torture me. I'm thinking of just going to see a psychiatrist and starting from scratch. Hopefully this board can help me figure out what to do. Nice to meet you all.
