YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin

I am male
I am an alchoholic
I am a musician
I am always depressed
I am a failure
I am damaged

Thank you for sharing.

Thank you for acknowledging me

My pleasure.

May I offer a thought or two, that you are welcome to take or leave?

When it comes to alcoholism, there is hope.

Please keep pursuing your music. We need your voice.

I have heard they're is hope. Have seen 2 friends escape it. 1 is now dead and the other a jesus freak. Such hope.

Thank you for sharing. My thought is that you may be all those things right now in this moment, but you can work on changing the part you don't like. I know it sounds trite but tomorrow is another day and another chance to move forward. {hugs}

Hi. Thanks for the reply. I do use my music to try and fend off The negative qualities but my failures with the music only intensifies the negative. Which then keeps me from writing so i wont feel the experience failure. Im stuck in an on going cycle. The one thing that gives me joy also hurts me.

Ah yes, jails/institutions/death: the three horsemen of late-term alcoholism, with the possible escape pod of 12-step, Jesus, or (in my case) spontaneous sobriety.

I am not sure where you are on the alcoholism road, but your "death or Jesus" dichotomy is apt.

When I stopped drinking I was around plenty of religious folks, and damn, were they doing a lot better than me, at the time.

Same for the 12-step guys: they had jobs, money in the bank, and had a great time, day to day. I had none of those things.

Since you identify as an alcoholic, you know that death is a very real possibility. My friend, who I met on the first day of junior high, and lived across the street from me, drank himself to death a year ago at age 40.

Alcohol plays for keeps, man.

I wish you well. I encourage you, kindly, to be careful of sweeping generalizations about your identity. You are a full person, a mix of good and bad. Like all of us.

It was very brave of you man to admit to yourself that you are an alcoholic person.

I know it's been a few months, but I want to let you know, damaged, that I read your posts, and I hope you've found some relief from the darkness. Compassion to you.