Hi I'm new to forum and could use some support
Posted: July 23rd, 2018, 3:43 pm
I'm not sure if anyone else has dealt with my issue. I belong to a twelve-step group which I have been a member for at least 20 years. The program really helped with deal with family of origin issues, child of alcoholic and depression. I was a very slow learner. At first, I was hesitant to speak because I had no self-esteem so I just mainly listened and cried a lot. I started to work on myself and healing. After about 5 years, I finally meet a group of women who became my family. I finally felt loved, worthy and accepted. We attended meetings, workshops, retreats, etc. These women were part of some of the happiest times in my life. We really formed a strong bond of love, acceptance and friendship. After 15 years, one of the women (who I was the closest to) started ignoring me and snubbed me at meetings. I tried several times to connect with the person. Naturally, I thought I did something wrong. My friend and I spoke and she blasted me telling me all that was wrong me and the things that annoyed her. I was blown away. I was so angry but really hurt. The other women in the group also broke off contact me with. I stopped attending meetings for about 1 1/2 years. I became paralyzed and of course believed I was wrong. I let this event and events from my childhood define me. I walked around believing there was something wrong with me. This triggered feelings like abandonment and unworthiness. I have made it back to the rooms but I'm very guarded and untrusting. I've tried so hard to let this go and just accept what happened. I would appreciate any feedback or input. I'm glad I can this crap out.