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I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 9:13 am
by ~noface~
Hello!
I’m new here~nice to meet you all! I recently discovered the podcast and had the feeling I was MEANT to hear it, if you believe in that. I’ve been feeling lost for pretty much my whole life, and although things look pretty good from the outside…inside I am dying.
My 11yo daughter has attempted suicide twice, been hospitalized 3x this year, and struggles everyday with self harm and vape addiction. I feel like a failure as a mom. I wanted nothing more than to protect my girls (11 & 19) from painful things I went through, but both have suffered immensely due to the choices I have made. Both have mental health issues, as do I. Both have suffered trauma, as have I. It’s so hard to break the cycle. But I am motivated to heal~if not for me, then for them, finally.
Glad to be here, trying to tell myself I’m allowed to be here and allowed to take up space on this forum!
~noface~
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 9:25 am
by oak
~noface~ wrote: ↑May 14th, 2023, 9:13 am
Hello!
I’m new here~nice to meet you all! I recently discovered the podcast and had the feeling I was MEANT to hear it, if you believe in that. I’ve been feeling lost for pretty much my whole life, and although things look pretty good from the outside…inside I am dying.
My 11yo daughter has attempted suicide twice, been hospitalized 3x this year, and struggles everyday with self harm and vape addiction. I feel like a failure as a mom. I wanted nothing more than to protect my girls (11 & 19) from painful things I went through, but both have suffered immensely due to the choices I have made. Both have mental health issues, as do I. Both have suffered trauma, as have I. It’s so hard to break the cycle. But I am motivated to heal~if not for me, then for them, finally.
Glad to be here, trying to tell myself I’m allowed to be here and allowed to take up space on this forum!
~noface~
Welcome!
Like you, I’ve felt (been?) lost my whole life, so we can be lost together.
Thank you for sharing about the difficulties you and your daughter have faced.
There are no easy answers, but you are heard, and not alone.
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 10:02 am
by Mental Fairy
Hi noface
You are not alone on this journey. There will be hard times, difficult decisions and triumphs. We are here right beside you.
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 11:55 am
by ~noface~
Thank you, I appreciate your kindness~so glad I found my way here!
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 2:13 pm
by Mental Fairy
Hi noface
As a mum of a 19 year old I felt that feeling of being a failure also. It’s really about stripping ourselves back to the true core of who we are and building ourselves back up again. It makes for a very difficult and confronting time ahead but it is so worth it.
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 14th, 2023, 5:41 pm
by snoringdog
Hello Noface
Welcome!
Glad to be here, trying to tell myself I’m allowed to be here and allowed to take up space on this forum!
Of course you're welcome here! Pull up a couch or whatever, and take up as much space as you'd like
My 11yo daughter has attempted suicide twice, been hospitalized 3x this year, and struggles everyday with self harm and vape addiction.
This is so sad, and way beyond anything I can hope to help with, or maybe even comment on...
Sadly, there's a recent episode on this topic and Ms. Hammond has a Facebook page listed. Maybe you could connect with her too.
Losing Her Preteen To Suicide – Kathleen Hammond
https://mentalpod.com/archives/6787
Anyway, we're here to listen whenever you feel like posting.
Regards
Snoring Dog
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 16th, 2023, 11:37 am
by ~noface~
Thank you both—I listened to Mrs. Hammonds story—I forced myself to listen to every word, knowing it could be me, praying it will not…I will check out the facebook page for sure.
The struggle with getting quality and timely treatment for your child is REAL, especially with commercial insurance which I did not realize is such a problem—apparently state insurance reimburses at higher rates. Knowing the help is there and we can’t access it is truly enraging. Find myself having to dig deep everyday for the resolve to keep trying…I’m not giving up though.
Thank you for listening and being there! Means a lot.
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: May 16th, 2023, 1:56 pm
by oak
Thank you for sharing, ~noface~.
Also, a few days in, I hope you have at least a little better idea of who you are. I only know what you've shared, and I know that (1) you care about your daughter and (2) you are using your words, here.
That is a good start.
~noface~ wrote: ↑May 16th, 2023, 11:37 am
Find myself having to dig deep everyday for the resolve to keep trying…I’m not giving up though.
Lastly, your determination has encouraged me to keep trying. You are a good example.
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: February 4th, 2024, 2:45 pm
by Maradona
Hello,
Your post title resonates with me. I feel I've lost my identity after job loss and all the status-loss and shake that goes hand in hand with that. As a father of three, it's very difficult.
I found that Paul's podcast has really helped me and it eventually drew me here.
I hope your situation improves
Re: I can’t introduce myself because I don’t know who I am
Posted: February 6th, 2024, 9:19 pm
by snoringdog
Hello Maradona,
Welcome aboard!
So, you've been listening for awhile... do you have any "favorites" or any memorable moments from any of the episodes? (I wish I'd made notes along the way, I'd like to hear a few of the surveys again).
I'm sorry to hear about your job situation, are there any prospects for you?
SD