Venting - Letting It Out So It Doesn't Stay Inside

[TonyM_Guest]

I didn't see a more appropriate place for this. If I missed it, mods please feel free to move this post.

I just want to get a little bit of confessional off my chest so it doesn't stay bottled up. Last night I had a support group meeting for co-dependency. We had some newcomers so at the end of the meeting a few of us veterans stuck around to answer questions. One of the newcomers was asking about getting a sponsor. I responded with a little bit of caution and advised to be careful because in a group designed for codependents it can be easy to become codependent with your sponsor. One of the other veterans -- whom I respect very much and consider a guiding light in this meeting -- got quite upset and told me that I shouldn't speak because I don't have a sponsor and can't speak to that kind of relationship. This is true that I don't and I don't on purpose -- on advice from my therapist -- but I do _work_ our program via other exercises and check-ins with my therapist. After I expressed this and the other veterans said something to the effect of "well someone needs to check your therapist, then" before they walked out of our room.

I try to be careful about speaking only from my own experience give advice like that in general rather than specific terms. I _think_ that I did a good job of this in but still second-guess myself because of my background (listen to my episode for more on this )

This really makes me sad. I am a little upset that I may have spoken out of turn and upset someone whom I really respect. That said, I know that the other person has a lot going on in their lives and this might just be lashing out because of this. I checked in with the newcomer I was speaking with and they didn't think I said anything untoward.

I am not looking for advice or anything in posting this. I am just trying to get this situation out into the world so that it doesn't stay bottled up inside.

[Heatherwantspeace]

Hi Tony,
You're heard and seen.
Heather

[manuel_moe_g]

Thanks for sharing, I 2nd Heather's response: you are heard and seen.

From what you described, you communicated with good intention and compassion.

All the best, cheers.

[sadranchmovinon]

is time to sing a new song in this new period of your life" 
I do love the birds. Sparrows flocking, flying over my car as I gaze out of the windshield in amazement. Trees covering the winding road. Branches intertwining in the open air, becoming one unit. A protective canopy we may not deserve. Green and brown things recognize each other, feel each other underneath it all, and reach across to hold hands. Passages not made for us, merely a pleasant result of deforestation and exploitation of the land. A bonus that lets me converse with my surroundings and enlivens gratitude within me. 

The road acts as a fence. We are like squirrels scaling the smallest surfaces between two properties. It is not our space, it is someone elses'. It is always someone elses'. But the land should not be owned. Land: "the surface of the earth and all of its natural resources." We have defined the earth by its use value. Within our language, we oppress. We assume, and we starve. As a society, so deprived that we must take and take and take, not seeing the beauty in nature for beauty itself. What can be given greater than this? We are blind. We do not see the explosions of red and flitting wings above us. We ignore miracles in pursuit of vanity and financial gain. This is nothing new. We know the plights of humankind and the destruction of our earth, but we both need the reminder.

I am only connected when I am in this space, able to ignore the technology attached to my soul and hip. When I see the red robins, I feel calm, present, and focused. Most importantly, I feel that each moment I take notice to my world, I am reaffirming myself and existence. I am here,  I can prove it, and so are you. At my loneliest, I pray to see wings. I ask spirit to cry out the song of the dove. I hope and hope and hope to reach out and feel, like the trees, love from above and below. 

[snoringdog]

Hello Sadranchmovinon,

Thank you for posting, there's much to ponder there...

I appreciate birds as well, and always find them uplifting (that pun just came out, sorry ).

Your sentiment touched me -
"At my loneliest, I pray to see wings...."

Months ago, in a state of agitation and self-doubt I posted these short lines which were comforting to think about;

Have you ever held a bird in your hand?

So Fragile
So Beautiful

So Determined to Live....



Wishing you well.

SnoringDog