Love This Podcast - Hi

[MCspeaks]

My name is M.C., I'm 25, and I only just stumbled across this podcast as a fan of Adam Carolla's. Honestly, so excited, because I love podcasts, they have really helped me get through so low and lonely places. Now just listening to the discussions about depression, anxiety etc. I feel so comforted. It's really hard to reach out and talk to people. I couldn't be around "normal" people. I've been working through this since I was 14 and only have really started the real "work" last year when I started grad school.

Something has really changed since I started listening to this (only have heard a few eps so far) and I haven't figured out if it's just my usual brief mood upswing, but I do know that I have been finding my voice to talk for the first time and I don't want to stop! For my advocacy class this semester I actually started a blog on depression (just posting things in the news, books, music, general commentary) and just included a post on this podcast. I'd look any feedback people were willing to give on it, but I'm definitely enjoying do it! You can find it at http://speakfordepression.blogspot.com/

[dare i say it]

Hey MC! Welcome to the forum. I'm glad you're here. I'm 33 and like you I've been dealing with stuff from an early age. I have brief mood upswings too. I don't really know for sure what causes that or how I got to be that way, but it's definitely a real thing for me.

It's really hard to reach out and talk to people. I couldn't be around "normal" people.

If I were to play devil's advocate for a moment, I might argue that there really is no good definition for "normal person." In my situation at least, my mental problems are things that everybody experiences to varying degrees. Nor are my symptoms part of who I am at my core. I'll keep working on ways to manage those symptoms until I have the life that I want. Just a thought. I definitely know what you mean though about feeling like most people are experiencing life in a totally different way from you.

[ocadhla]

Like dare i say it says, there really are no "normal" people, just people who appear so. I can really relate to that feeling though. I had undiagnosed, untreated depression for years and it eventually got to the point where I couldn't stand being around anyone. I think a part of depression for a lot of people is the feeling that everyone else is better than you and that you shouldn't inflict them with your presence (this is something I struggle with a lot).

My school hosted Pieces recently. Its a series of vignettes about several different mental illnesses. I almost talked myself out of going but I'm really glad that I went. I think I was afraid that I would be one of only a few people there and that I would feel even more singled out and alone. All 500 of the seats were filled and people came in and stood through the hour and a half production. I heard a middle aged man and woman who were sitting next to me discussing different ways that they've adapted to treat their depression over the years. Recently a close friend of mine for the last decade told me about his struggle with depression when he was diagnosed with OCD. While I had known about the OCD since I met him, I never knew that he was depressed.

I think that talking about our problems is a great way to help both ourselves and others feel better about themselves and that is why I love this podcast. I hope that your interaction here will help - its made me feel better reading your post and writing this reply.

Anyways, welcome.

[MCspeaks]

Agreed. I think that getting stuck in my head so much really blocked out other people's true experiences for me. I am a very empathetic person, and I knew that I really couldn't deal with giving any attention to other people and their problems. And to a degree I felt really selfish, because I that is one thing I really can't tolerate in other people. Therefore, by keeping my issues to myself, I was really being UNselfish, right? Since I wasn't drawing the attention away from other people, who I placed more importance on than myself. Luckily, I have finally realized how liberating it is just to tell people about my depression. The things we kept secret are the things we feel ashamed of or guilty about. I didn't even realize how afraid I was of telling others, but luckily I think I am currently on the right medication and feeling some relief, I was also able to relieve myself spiritually and connect better with others. So far only week two...so *fingers crossed*