Sorry to read that your fears held you back from sharing too much. I know the feeling but do hope you mange to post a bit more sometime soon. As for how you let people just love you, dearest god that is a million dollar question. I think one part of it is finding a place where you truthfully believe that if you open yourself up you will either be loved or hurt and then you extrapolate that further and figure out how to make the desire to be loved and feel loved outweigh the risk of being hurt.
I know...it's more like saying tell the sun to stop shining so it is probably the least practical advice ever but it is the only thing that allows me to feel the love of my friends when they give it. I have to give up previous hurts and betrayals and let each person start with a blank slate each day.
I don't mean to go on and on but some people I really trust have developed a new mantra (from a seminar thing they were going to) and that is that everyone on planet earth is doing the best they can at all times. That's not to say that there is no right or wrong, the parent that is so fearful of their child failing that they beat them to get better grades par example, is wrong. However, people cannot help but try to get through the world living in the highest quality of life available to them.
So thanks for doing your best at all times and I do so hope you can feel that way about others. Welcome
Forgive me, I might be babbling. But that "brainiac/childlike" thing, yeah, that's a unique and interesting way to live, isn't it? 
