34 year old, dealing with depression & anxiety

[PeyoteUgly]

Long time listener, first time caller.
I'm Ben. I'm 34. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression issues since as long as I can remember.
started therapy in my early 20s. Tried meds in my late 20s but my doctor sucked and i later learned i was a horrible candidate for the pills he put me on. those pills didn't work so i quit them.
After shit started getting uncontrollable, about 1.5 yrs ago, I got a new doctor who rules. He put me on new meds that actually work.
For the first time in my memory, I am not utterly consumed by panic and dread. I still have my moments, but my perspective is so much better these days.
I quit drinking entirely for over five years while I worked on myself, and this helped me out with developing some good coping mechanisms. Exercising regularly helps, too.
i still smoke weed. seems to work for me. it's definitely not for everyone.
I've been really digging my teeth into this podcast lately....just ended a 10+ year relationship, which is as brutal as it sounds. I'm really proud of myself for how i've been able to deal with it and keep my perspective in check. LOVE IT when paul says "my life is great, it's my perspective that's fucked."
it's a great feeling when someone on the podcast, perhaps during a fear-off, brings up some incredibly awful and totally fucked thought that you have also had.
the feeling of identification generally just makes me bust out laughing. that shit sounds RETARDED when you say it out loud, which is where this podcast excells.
everyone on this forum seems very thoughtful and helpful, and i'm excited to hopefully add to some of the conversations.
Sharing and communicating and NOT ISOLATING is so helpful to me, and it seems it benefits others, too.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello PeyoteUgly, welcome to the forum!

just ended a 10+ year relationship, which is as brutal as it sounds. I'm really proud of myself for how i've been able to deal with it

This is so great, you have found something inside you that makes you more capable than you ever thought possible before!

All the best, take care, we are all cheering for your greatest today and tomorrow!

[marathonbar]

Hey Peyote Ugly,
Welcome! I, too, love it when Paul says it's his perspective that's fucked. I'm always saying that I have no reason to be depressed but I still am. Welcome to the forums and hope you're doing okay.

[Paul Gilmartin]

PeyoteUgly,

First off, great name. Love it. Second, welcome to the forum. And third, thanks for letting us get to know you. I'm so glad you appreciate the podcast, and I never get tired of people who roll the dice and reach for help and find it. Warms my heart.

Paul