other entertainment industry folks out there?

[Karina]

Powerpac7, I work in the entertainment industry, as well. I'm 29 and, despite my years of professional experience and living in major cities, I feel like I have constantly been stuck in the student level, where I always have to start from the very rudiments of what I'm trained in (you can read all about my more recent dramas with discouraging teachers in other places around the board). I always have to go somewhere else, find other people. I can't tell you how 1. fortunate you are to be blessed with your talent and 2. admirable you are for your tenacity and honesty at every step of the way. You are most definitely not alone in your struggles, especially in this field, though it's nearly impossible to realize that powerful thing when everyone else seems to exude an aura of confidence and positivity with "our people." Some artists just don't get it - I can't tell you how many times a random stranger who has just started their first improv class and is so! excited! to be there has come up to me, thinking I'm some kind of big, highfalutin pro instead of the fraud I most often believe myself to be, then sees my face drop when they tell me that improv is the greatest thing to ever happen to them and that it can't be ruined, and *then* they say, "You seem sad." Knowing that they have not yet (or will ever) have that experience where a teacher tells them to give up, well, I can't say who's the real winner in this situation.

You can still teach or direct theatre, provided that schools are lenient enough to hire someone whose experience speaks volumes over a degree. If there are any theatre companies you know of, volunteer for them and make the connection - especially if their work artistically resonates with you. You never know when they might need your expertise anyway.

MarkD, I am also based in Chicago and have always wanted to take up puppetry - much of what you've posted is seriously resonating with me.

Anyway, my director told me that my biggest issue is that I don't trust myself - but the difference between that and past experiences I've had with people in the community who say or imply this was that it wasn't in a condescending or untrusting way from his perspective. People have tried to cut me down to size, and yet others have believed in my talent - my glass-half-empty mentality has assured me that I'm only paying teachers to tell me that I'm talented and they don't really mean it. But I was born with a half-full mentality and am struggling just to get it back.

[dystopika]

PAC:

[shyly raises hand]

Entertainment industry. Horror screenwriter. Broke through in 2006. Enjoyed some highs and near-highs and astronomical lows. In the past year, I've gone from "how long can I last with the money I've got?" to "how deep can I afford to dive into the debt I'm getting into?". Turned 36 a few weeks ago.

The past few years, I've reached similar crisis points, contemplating going back to some regular soulless office job. The kind that used to be easy to get once upon a time. I've had a lot of trouble finding "regular people" work. That's been demoralizing in its own right.

This past week, I suffered a shattering breakup with a girl I just started seeing *AND* I swallowed my pride and emailed my semi-estranged dad to ask if he could help me out with a little money. I've been "self-medicating" too much. It is before 10am on a Sunday here on the East Coast and I am drinking what remains of the liquor in this shithole apartment.

Past week, in addition to the turmoil, I finished a second draft of a screenplay that I've been developing with a producer. It's promising and there's a chance we could set it up at one of a few different production companies he's lined up. But the old saw with screenwriters: "Hurry up and wait." I've no idea if or when this could pay off. I've consistently had multiple irons in the fire for years and it's always a longshot. Sustaining a career in the entertainment industry is not easy but, from all accounts, it's gotten more difficult in recent years. At least from a writer's perspective.

I completely sympathize/empathize with your plight. I can't imagine doing anything else at this point in my life. Cannot imagine trying to start a NEW career at this point in my life. And yet, this career path has failed to consistently support me and I've no longer-term plan. I've gone from living month to month, to week to week, to day to day. I don't know how other people do this.

[dystopika]

Amendment. Apologies. This happens when you troll through discussion boards half-drunk on a Sunday mourning (sic). I failed to look at the dates of posts and didn't realize when this discussion started. Which, it seems, was quite a long time ago from this weekend.

I hope you're still with us and faring better, POWERPAC.

I am fairly certain I'm drinking far too much and am about to breach the time/window of patience that some of my friend will have for my shit. I am keenly aware of this. I am supposed to go to a SUPERBOWL party tonight and I don't even follow football but I just don't want to be alone. I can imagine the quiet judgment happening in my friends' minds:

"Get over the girl..."

"Just get a regular job and grow up already..."

Partly my imagination. Partly the self-critical voices in my head.

The entertainment industry is such a fucking heartbreaking road to pursue. If I could access a time-machine and have a heart-to-heart with my adolescent self, there are so many things I would suggest to him to make his future (my present) easier.

[Kilohertz]

Hi. I'm glad you posted. I have an alert on this topic for when people post. I want to acknowledge that the "regular people" jobs stuff IS harder to get and I find it especially annoying when other people think that is a snap to get.

I went into a "reevaluation session" at Kaiser yesterday. I talked to new therapist. She acknowledged my real mental hang ups that also impact my self-employment. Also a "soul crushing" office job might be just the thing for me because I could do my "art" part time. In my experience I can't just do a "soul crushing" office job half ass, it sucks me in. And if I can't get my "art" to pay that is the choice I think I need to make. When the economy is better, workers can say, treat me better. Or "I can make money on my terms so I don't have to do a soul crushing job." This is something that the employers like. They like workers locked in because of health care. They like having a beaten down employee base who can't demand better working conditions.

I was thinking the other day about the Marc Maron interview with Bill Lawrence, the writer and showrunner of Scrubs and Cougar Town. It's episode 252 on WTF podcast. Here is a guy who is understands what "product" the producers what and what they will pay for. You also hear a lot of self loathing in his voice and story. I don't like his humor but apparently lots of people with money do. He talks about how what the money people say they want and what they actually put out is so different.

So is he happy? I don't think so. He really wants to write plays, but he now has ex-wife mortgage and the golden handcuffs. The thing is that I wouldn't want to hang out with him. You I'm more interesting in hanging out with. Might not mean much, but there it is.

[dystopika]

Kilohertz:

The thing is that I wouldn't want to hang out with him. You I'm more interesting in hanging out with. Might not mean much, but there it is.

What a kind thing to say! I listened to the Bill Lawrence WTF episode, too. He does sound vaguely unpleasant. And he comes from money. I mean, good for him -- I wish I came from money, so I could get a temporary bailout from my folks... but alas...

Took a test for a soul-sucking desk job at CON ED yesterday. Just putting on the business attire bummed me out. I think I might have blown the test because they were using updated versions of programs I was familiar with 6 years ago. And yet... part of me has been more worried that they'll still offer me a job.

I've got a new script that's being sent out this week, to this production company with an open production slot. Could find out about it soon. This could change things for me.

Or nothing could happen.

I really need a win right now. I always brace myself for the worst but when you're scraping the rock bottom, you've got to hope for something.

[fifthsonata]

Yes, does being a musician count as entertainment? haha


While my field is primarily education, I do perform. Auditions for bass clarinetists have dried out in my area - a lot of orchestras, to save cash, are putting their soprano clarinetists to bass and only hiring 3rd clarinetists who can perform well on soprano AND bass. Competition for college professors in my field is terrifyingly competitive and scary - and as a result I've been forced to working retail to make ends meet. I used to teach college, work as an organologist (I even got to be in the short commercial narrated by Tom Brokaw! (/ego), and now I'm fucking stocking everyone's Cheetos and being ignored by bosses because I have a vagina (who knew vaginas could be so disadvantageous?!?!). At least I can maintain SOME pride and be in the warehouse, out of the public eye.



So, you're not alone. BUT, the best thing about the entertainment industry is that things can change at the drop of a hat. Some months I'm being called for gigs, and others I'm being turned away without being given the chance. I think that's the only piece of hope that keeps me going.

[fifthsonata]

By the way, at least with Wal-Mart, despite the 2800 deductible, you get free counseling services LMAOOOOOO

[roadieric]

Hey "Powerpac";

Forgive me for being rather "late to the party", but at the risk of seeming redundant I just want to let you know that I definitely "feel your pain", my friend. After over 3 reasonably successful decades being primarily self-employed as a technician in this delightful business we call "show", it seems that in the last two years the "bottom has dropped out" for me as well.

The "Walmart-ization" of the live music biz in particular has had a very negative impact on me and many like me. Having gone into the biz right out of high school (in the 70's), and now being closer to 60 than 50, I have discovered, much to my dismay, that experience and "old-school" work ethic holds very little value to foolish employers who focus strictly on short-term gain.

Does misery truly "love company"?

I dunno, but I hope you've made some progress since your last visit to this thread.

Rock on.