Going Nowhere

[LaiLaiGirl]

The biggest pain in my life right now (aside from the being friendless issue) is my job. I worked hard to get where I was, then in April, got demoted due to some re-structuring within the company. I hated my previous boss and my lazy co-workers. In my new role (new boss, new co-workers), I feel like I'm in a worse situation. My boss is cool and not a micromanager, but I feel he doesn't listen to anything I say, and I have this co-worker who was formerly a supervisor but still acts like one. I feel like she is micromanaging me. I try to avoid her just because I feel like I will yell expletives at her if I come to the breaking point.

I just feel like I'm not good at anything. Heck, I even feel like sh** for posting a topic in this very Forum and see no posts. It should be enough to shut me up for good, but I guess I'm stubborn, so here I am. Again.

The only word I would use to describe myself is Loser. I feel I'll never come out on top. What is the point in trying anymore? I just feel like I'm coasting through life, counting every second that passes is one second closer to dying.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello LaiLaiGirl,

You are not alone. Unfortunately, I, myself, am a dummy-head with no good advice to give.

I am in the middle of re-adjusting my relationship with success and failure. Failure was so scary to me, I would shut down to avoid it. Now I redefine success to mean "holding on to a 3% improvement, and trying to build on that improvement with another 3% improvement on top"

Please take care.

[jessy27]

LaiLaiGirl,
I read part of your blog, you should have kicked "larry" where he lives. My question is why you are so down on yourself?
You have a boyfriend who loves you, or he wouldn't be planing on asking you to marry him. That right there is more
than a lot of us have. As for the former supervisor, next time she tries to but in to your business tell her to go scr*w
herself.

[Stina]

Ugh, micromanagers!! Don't get me started. You are not alone, especially in disliking your job and coasting through life. But you know what? Tomorrow is Friday and then after that is two days of not having to work! (Not sure of your schedule, but if you're a Monday-Friday, 9-5 type then a slightly premature TGIF to you!)

[LaiLaiGirl]

So, for the last few weekends I've been on a giant mood swing. I laugh one minute, cry the next few hours, and so on and so forth.

Yesterday I broke down and cried 'til I fell asleep. I was dreading coming in to work today. But then I had a glimmer of hope when I looked at the job board. There was a position open that I actually felt I qualified for. I thought, "Hey, my luck is finally changing!" I had, what do you call it, "hope"?

I jazzed up my resume and submitted it. Then I saw an e-mail from HR appear a minute or so later. I thought, "Wow, that was quick!", thinking they were ready to set up an interview.

Nope.

The e-mail said that (as only *my* luck would have it) that it appears I had applied just as they were pulling the posting down. WTF!

The posting was dated July 3, although I have checked every day and didn't see it actually posted until today, July 8. This is the umpteeth time I've applied internally and nothing. I can't tell you how frustrating this is, and how much it makes me think that I just want to ram my car into a brick wall.

I'm so sick of it all. So sick! I know I'm not in the worst position, but god, my insides make me feel like shit. I don't know if there's any use for me on this Earth except to be dumped on.

[Stina]

I'm so sick of it all. So sick! I know I'm not in the worst position, but god, my insides make me feel like shit. I don't know if there's any use for me on this Earth except to be dumped on.

As Paul reminds us every week, you are not alone! Definitely definitely not.
*hug*

[manuel_moe_g]

We are cheering for you, LaiLaiGirl. Keep striving. Your striving will turn into achieving !

[Rosie]

I feel your pain I really do, it's your co-workers issues not yours as she can't accept that she is no longer a supervisor and things have changed. I'm in a similar situation I now have to work closely with someone I used to manage, when I managed her she would try to undermine me, now I don't she really goes for it. I feel angry too and feel like confronting her. Perhaps what we should both do is confront them but do it when we're feeling calm and try to be assertive (which is difficult when you feel like crap). What do you think? Big hugs from someone who's right there with you, Rosie

[LaiLaiGirl]

Thanks for the support all!

I must say I am feeling much better and I guess I had a few days where I was really feeling down. I'm back up again, though. My greatest fear is being alone, but I don't even know why I have that fear when I know I have this forum!