Venting Session

[LaiLaiGirl]

I went on vacation in Paul's hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Vacations should be relaxing, fun and an escape from reality, right? Well 9 days away from home and co-irkers (I discovered this new term and LOVE it), and it was only somewhat relaxing. The first two days back, I cried in the shower and just before I walked out the door to go back to Hell.

Yesterday I went to see "Wreck-It Ralph," mainly because a friend of mine was a PA on the film. During the movie, this little turd behind me started kicking my chair and then stretching out his or her (didn't bother to turn around for fear I'd strangle them) legs, pushing me forward from the reclined position. At the moment, I thought, "God I hate kids!" Then I started feeling guilty about it. I mean, I was a kid once too, and freaking stupid as hell. Then the movie was over, and I watched the credits roll, anxiously awaiting to see my friend's name on the big screen. And when it appeared, I felt like I could've just put a shotgun to my head. She's working for flippin' Disney. I am barely good enough for flippin' burgers.

I talked to my mom tonight, and the sound of her voice soothed me. But then I hung up, and the tears are flowing again. I don't know if I'm depressed, hormonally imbalanced, delusional, or a combination of all three.

A few months ago, my longtime boyfriend of 11 years and I went ring shopping. For a pretty second, I was thrilled. I thought I had found happiness. Fast forward 8 weeks, and I'm thinking "This is a terrible idea! I will be a terrible wife! He *will* regret this!"

Random thoughts. Rambling thoughts. How much more worse does it get before it gets better? Is that possible?

[weary]

Hi LaiLaiGirl.

Just wanted to let you know that I read what you vented and I feel for you. I know that those seemingly small irritations can really add up. I'm thinking good thoughts in your direction, and I hope that there are a few things that can brighten an otherwise dismal day if you are able to spot them and take them in.

If not, keep on venting! It keeps us (mostly) sane.

[manuel_moe_g]

I will make a wish, that you will, slowly but steadily, learn to love yourself exactly in the way you deserve to be loved. You are worthy of love NOW, not only after some future event. Please take care, we here are all cheering for you and your greatest today and tomorrow!

[Stina]

LaiLai --

Co-irkers! LOVE IT.

I applaud you for not kicking the crap out of the annoying kid behind you in the theater. Ugh. You are a better person than I!

Be nice to yourself. You have a man who loves you, money to see a movie, vacation memories fresh in your brain, no child-homicide charges pending. Good thoughts.