Posting the 1st time

[ghughes1980]

Ok so I did the shame/Secrets survey (That was very draining oh man) now for the intro to the forum.
Hi my same is Geoffrey and I'm broken. Currently am leveling my self out with 20mg of Celexa after a few years off. Hasn't quite kicked in and you can probably tell that by reading my survey. When I read it again I could tell so I'm guessing others will notice.
I am currently trying to make sense of the medical coverage I have and the hoops I'll have to jump through to get therapy at least partially covered by the disability program I am enrolled in for benefits. This has not really been a hard process but phone tag over the holidays is tricky, and since I'm not quite "at a good place" yet I feel a bit anxious about it.
On top of all this disability mumbo jumbo I've decided to move. Which I am now sort of regretting because I fear that the problems I was having with my current apartment may have been a mental manifestation (loud noises coming from vents, thumping banging, which caused me to not sleep properly for about a month or two consecutively.) brought on by a drug interaction I was having with a muscle relaxant. I have no idea if this is correct but I've found a new place and I'm committed so WTH let's make a change.
Anyway I'm here, and very happy I found this community and Paul's podcast because it has opened me up to the idea that "maybe" things don't have to be the way they are now and things can be different if I stick with a positive routine.

Thanks for reading

[New Leaf]

Hi Geoffrey, I also recently did the survey and also found it really draining, but liberating at the same time. Its nice to hear that someone else felt the draining effect since I was almost mad at myself from "making" filling it out such a big deal. Anyway, I think your move could be good because with a new year it is a nice way to start over. I don't think you should second guess if it was your meds or if there really were noises in your last place. Its a waste of your energy. Since you weren't sleeping well for so long you could associate the location with the inability to sleep versus your new place that is fresh and clean. As you might be able to tell I have a much easier time being positive about other people's situations rather than my own (I'm not positive about my own at all).. I hope I wasn't too positive and annoying... Sometimes I'd just love to move from where I live right now.

[ghughes1980]

Well one of the goals I had today blew up in my face. No coverage for talk therapy. Well that brings me down a bit further.

[New Leaf]

At least you're making an effort to try and get better, don't stop advocating for yourself. Maybe your town has services like the writer suggested at the start of the latest podcast?

[ghughes1980]

Sliding scale is the plan. The thing that bothers me is my healthcare plan is willing to do a lot for me if it's a physical problem ie leg braces, finger splints etc but as soon as you have a issue with the mental they shut you down. I find that frustrating. It's like the people in charge want to keep you sick so you stay on their rolls. It seems to me to be a cost cutting measure. Lately I've noticed the Provincial government (I live in Alberta, Canada) has been D-listing previously covered treatments/procedures. I'm sure that's what happened with therapy. Which really is starting to chap me. When I paid for my own insurance it was the same thing really. You look at your plan and ask: Why am I paying $40 a month for this? It doesn't cover anything it's just a cash grab.

[MizLzie]

I feel compelled to join in here. I live in BC and I'm broken as well. I know I've needed professional help for a long time, but it's only been the last few months and definitely after listening to this podcast that I see it has to happen now.
Checked our recently revised health plan - they took out massage therapy and such due to high dental & medical claims - and I see nothing about coverage for therapy/counselling. Need to call in to check, but it doesn't look good. I know there's some free ones so I'm going to look into how to get into that.
I have seen a sliding scale through the government (municipal or provincial?) but I bet I make "enough" to have to pay more than I actually can. Not cheap to live here and I barely get by.
Good luck to you and don't stop trying or reaching out - might find a lot of help from a friend.