YOU ARE NOT ALONE - A companion online community discussion board for The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast with Paul Gilmartin
Postings on this site are NOT by mental health professionals, rather the opinions & experiences of a community of regular people. If you feel like you are going to hurt yourself or others PLEASE call Suicide Prevention at 1-800-273-8255
I have a hard time with anxiety about talking on the phone with people I don't know. I've been working at a call center for 4 1/2 years now and still find that I have the same anxiety. Not as bad at work just because I know what I'm talking about but still won't call for delivery or any other calling unless absolutely necessary.
I also hate the phone. My brother is the only person enjoy talking on the phone with and I sometimes ignore his calls out of anxiety. Thank goodness for email!
The worst part of my phone anxiety is I will agree to pretty much anything in the interest of ending a phone call. Need me to crawl under your house and catch a rabid dog? Sure! Anything to be off the phone! I often hang up and count my huge mistakes.
Time has told me
You're a rare, rare find,
A troubled cure for a troubled mind.
-Nick Drake
I think my phone anxiety is close to phobic proportions. I used to get the shakes and heart pounding, but now it's more under control. The few closest people, know they can always reach me on e-mail, if they can't get through on the phone.
I screen all my calls.
If I don't recognize the number I ignore the call.
If I recognize the number I usually ignore the call too.
I rarely return messages and I refuse to listen to my answering service.
My phone bill is so small the company usually postpone payment a month or two, just so the bill is worth anything.
I had a sales job for a while that required an hour of cold calling every night. I had a list of phone numbers and names. I was constantly worried about upsetting people or mispronouncing their name. I was always relieved when the call went to a voicemail or just rang or the best was when it was disconnected.
Eventually I just started faking it. I'd pick up the phone and pretend to press the buttons. Then after several seconds I'd pretend to leave a message on their voicemail.
It was awful. I'd stay awake at nights dreading those calls.
Luckily with some help from my wife and family I was able to pull it together well enough to find a new job.
I love marathon conversations with friends, as long as I have the energy for it. BUT - I often use having my ringer off during the week at work as a way to excuse myself from ignoring calls... I can see you're calling mom, but I'm going to ignore it and text you the next day apologizing that I didn't get it since it was on vibrate...
OMG! I just posted about this! I hate calling people. I go over the conversation a million times in my head and I always feel like the person on the other end is just going to laugh at me and call me stupid. I worked in a call center for years and never had anxiety because I knew what was going to be said. I knew I was in control of the conversation. I will pay more, go to the doctor less, go without having my teeth cleaned, or just about anything so I don't have to call. My anxiety gets so bad that I can't breathe as I dial the number. It seems so ridiculous, yet it's so real. I have learned that if I call without having a chance to think about it, I do OK. I'm just so glad my husband somewhat understands and does most of the calling. And thank goodness for the Internet!!!
My phone phobia started up about 4 years ago, and there are a lot of friends and family I just haven't spoken to since then. I guess I figured it was better to have people think I was a jerk who didn't return phone calls than to admit I'm afraid of the telephone.
I have a job now where I do have to make a number of phone calls. However my boss is really particular about what I say, so I'm almost following a script and that makes calling easier. Making notes before a phone call is also really helpful for me.
Right now I'm trying to resolve an issue with my insurance, which is just getting silly. I'm too scared to call them, and when I finally do, they leave me on hold for an hour, take my info, and don't call back. Then I have to spend another week or so working up the courage to call them again.
It is amazing the lengths I will go to to avoid using the phone. My work voicemail has been set to out of office for six months. I don't know what it is exactly that causes the anxiety but I can't even call my friends.
As others have pointed out- since no one sends letters any more, nothing good comes in the mail. I used to really like sending and getting letters.