give up

[oak]

Hey fifth.

I have to get to work, otherwise I'd craft a proper response.

You are not alone. Hang in there.

[ghughes1980]

I don't know what to say, your post is hitting all the major points and I get it. I'm right there with you.

[tangledlaces]

That's such a great description of a terrible feeling. I know how you feel. That's been my last two or three days this week, and it's so hard to keep moving, but hang in there. You're not alone in this feeling, or in the world. Maybe this isn't "normal" for our generation, but I have to say that it seems I know more people with mental health issues our age than not. Reach out to some of those friends you feel alienated from. Chances are at least one of them knows how you feel, has been there themselves. Therapy is there to catch you, not something you have to be able to do. Our perfectionist selves tell us that we have to be able to share, that the therapy should achieve some immediate, perceivable goal or else we're not doing it right. That's so not the case.

Hugs to you. I wish I could give you a real one. Thank you for sharing though. You put into words what is often an indescribable state of being for me and that helps me quantify the feelings. I hope you get that rug pulled back. You've got the strength to persevere.

[manuel_moe_g]

Hello fifthsonata, we appreciate all the written contributions to the board; we are all pulling for you.

Sometimes, because of brain chemistry, just living life is very painful. But continued existence is necessary for accomplishment and service and compassion and connection. I know that if I look out 15 years, my own continued existence will probably be a negotiated compromise with the universe. To do certain things, I have to continue to exist, but just simple existence is painful.

In a depressive state, one's thinking is distorted. That is why I find it helpful to write things down, so I have irrefutable proof of what I found to be important at some past moment.

It is possible that this depressive state could break a part of your own ego that is actually holding you back. If that is the case, you will eventually benefit, but when it is happening it is painful as hell and so emotionally devastating.

I have started praying again, even though I am really an atheist. I will pray for you and for your pain to recede because you don't deserve such pain. Maybe the prayers of an atheist mean more because there are so few of them!

Please take care, all the best, cheers, we here are all cheering for you and for your greatest today and tomorrow.

[weary]

Thinking of you, fifthsonata. We both have had a rough time lately. You were very helpful and thoughtful to me last week, and I'm sorry to see you suffering so. I hope you can find a place to be compassionate to and patient with yourself in the midst of this deep, intense feeling and try to do some kind things to soothe yourself and try to generate some safe feelings. A warm cup of tea,or coffee, fresh sheets in the bed, a hot bath. You're an ok person. We're all ashamed of our problems to some extent or another, we're all afraid of the judgments of others. You are lovable and likable and you're going to make it through this. We won't give up on you.