Increased negative feelings in the summer

[gfyourself]

Increased negative feelings in the summer because "everyone" is out having fun at barbeques, weddings etc. Well actually in some ways I'm glad that I don't have weddings to go to because they are long and boring and expensive. But you get the drift.
Also I've only been to less then 5 weddings in my life because I barely have any friends.
Also a work colleague yesterday brought up to me that she finds it difficult to know what to say when her friends tell her they have depression. I mumbled something. I wonder if she was indirectly asking me if I had depression.
My life sucks, or I suck.

[gfyourself]

Oh I forgot then when I get down on myself I fill my face thus exacerbating my weight problem. Good times!

[oak]

Hugs gf

[BrambleAndRose]

GF--I can SO relate to every single thing you expressed in your post. EVERY. Single. Thing. So much so that I almost couldn't finish reading it before jumping in to empathize. My wintertime seasonal affective symptoms are so easy to understand, so easy to express, so easy for people to understand, I almost don't have to bring them up with any specificity. But the summer stuff? I really thought I was the only one. Your words tell me that's not the case.

I don't really have much to offer in the way of a response except to say that you're absolutely not alone, and that I have found that it helps me some to just do some of those summertime things unaccompanied, or with just one other person, which feels more natural and custom-designed to fit, instead of feeling like pressure or facing something you "lack." Who says a barbecue can't be fun with one friend instead of ten? Have someone bring a grillable protein, and you contribute the fixin's or vice-versa. When it's one-on-one, cost is less prohibitive and the opportunities for conversation and horsing around are undiminished. Who says that you have to go to a pool party to enjoy some splashing time fun? Get a wading pool or just plug in a sprinkler and run around. Of course that specific suggestion is no good for someone in an apartment, but you get the idea. Sometimes, if you can pinpoint one summer craving, you can find an alternative way to satisfy it, and beat back some of that hopelessness. Pick one, and try to come up with a creative idea--it's far less overwhelming than listing what you can't do, and far more rewarding.

Also, weddings are the WORST. They remind me of New Year's Eve, which I also celebrate alone: too much pressure, too much ado, too little opportunity for true enjoyment. Fuck a wedding. Fuck a boring summer. Fuck a prying coworker. Fuck a weight problem. Instead, leverage your creativity, your smaller social network, your capacity to entertain and love yourself. Easy to say, hard to do, but rewarding when you can make it work.

Empathy. Sympathy. Love. Go Friend YOURSELF!

[gfyourself]

Hey bramble thanks for the pep talk!

[Jose]

I've always had similar feelings about the summer. Although I love the nice weather, something in my introverted nature really rejects the idea of being 'out' and 'having fun' with people just because it's a few degrees hotter. I really value those times in the winter months when I can walk outside with my face and entire body covered and not have to be seen or interact with anyone, even though I HATE the cold. I just hate the sense that I'm being measured up and assessed whenever I take a simple walk around the neighborhood, I would think it's just in my head, but stares from car windows and passersby tell me otherwise. I've really wanted to go swimming, but I'm afraid to take off my shirt in public for how people will look at my untoned, pasty physique. Mostly I fear for my safety whenever I go somewhere public in these months because it's always the time of year when the most crime and homicide happens. I've already had to prevent a group of kids from breaking into my car, days later someone cracked the window attempting to get in, and the most frightening thing that's happened which I can't get out of my head, is that two kids- a 13 and 15 year old, killed a 50 year old man, who was standing on a corner, absolutely minding his own business, from playing 'The knockout game' where each one tries to get him down in one punch. now whenever I leave the house I don't know when I'll be targeted by children for this ridiculous game, it just brings me back to all the times I was assaulted in highschool and did nothing to defend myself or even report it. They made me agoraphobic with anxiety attacks for YEARS until I just recently started to feel like I had a handle on it, and could walk around safely in my own city. Then these reports come in and make me want to crawl back into my hole again, it sickens me that other peoples stupid behavior has the potential to limit my options of where I can go/what I can do in life. I want to enjoy the summer too! Unfortunately the idiots out there have to ruin it for anyone else, and the only time I actually do like to be outside and in nature is when I'm miles away from this hellhole.

[gfyourself]

Hey Bramble also to add to the above I do think that getting out and just walking around in the nice weather does help, maybe go for a quick run or something like that. I did some gardening last week so that felt good as well too. But I find perhaps that the nights are more difficult.

Jose I'm sympathetic to your situation of having a number of reasons not to do something that seems relatively simple. Sometimes I feel just walking out to a nearby green space for a few minutes can help - being out in the sun (as long as its not TOO hot) just feels better than being inside and I try to use it as an opportunity to stop the negative thinking for just a few minutes.