Finally Realizing Childhood Abuse

[senoranonymoso]

Hello Everyone,

I'm married and in my late 20s, living the Midwest. I've spent my entire life thinking I was normal, but have suffered from severe porn/sex addiction since the age of 13, and after my family fell apart a few years ago I realized how messed up my life has been.

I was exposed to all sorts of violence while growing up. My mother used physical force while fighting with my father every time they fought. I watched her beat one of my brothers senselessly and regulary, and the other fought with her non-stop. I took a lot of beatings myself, but more-so I have realized that I was severely mentally abused and neglected.

I plan on discussing more in the childhood subforum, but I'm happy to be here. Paul's podcast has changed my life and every time I listen I wish that I could speak to him and tell him about the parallels between our lives.

Also, I'm looking forward becoming part of this community and sharing support with anyone else that needs healing like I do.

Thanks for reading and I wish everyone here the best.

[oak]

Hello, welcome. Thank you for being brave enough to share here.

I am very sorry you were exposed to violence and abuse.

I am very glad to hear that you have identified what happened to you, can articulate it, and again are brave enough to post about it here.

Secrets don't like sunshine and fresh air.

I hope you find healing.

Lastly, as you "come out" as abuse victim, let me share this, using an "I" statement: when I "came out" as an abuse victim people who should have known better immediately asked "Are you *sure*?"

That is, I found people doubted/didn't want to believe my story.

My advice to others is: keeping telling people until you find someone who cares, and believes you.

[senoranonymoso]

Oak,

Thank you for the quick reply. I should add that I've been seeing a therapist for about 6 months that has changed my life. I have a long ways to go but I've finally awakened to the fact that *I* am a victim, unfortunately some days I don't wanna believe myself :S.

My wife is helping me along the way and I do have a few others that I've "come out to" but I still sink back into the darkness daily.

I really appreciate your kind words and warm welcome. In a way it's calmed me down already quite a bit, from the panic I've been in all day.

[oak]

Very good senor. You are on your way.